Living in the Past
by Mapsnika
Summary: While trying to recapture her past, B'Elanna almost misses out on something special. Seven takes steps to make peace with her past so she can embrace her future. Last Chapter posted. Please review
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Characters, some of the dialog and trekkie technology belong to Paramount and the Star Trek Dynasty. I'm just using them to string together a little tale from the depths of my mind as a cheap form therapy. No profit or copyright infringement is intended or expected.

**Challenge:** Story was originally written for Passion and Perfection Epic Proportions 2009 challenge.

**Warning:** I know I have to say this even though I think it's silly. This story deals with a romantic relationship between two consenting adult women. You have now been warned.

**Writer's Notes:** I would like to extend heartfelt thanks to my Beta Lenara who kept me on track and from wandering all over the Delta quadrant. This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction so any feedback and words of encouragement would be very much appreciated. Comments can be sent to .

**Living in the Past**

**By mapsnika**

**Chapter One**

B'Elanna has always struggled with a war of wills; either with herself, her place in Starfleet, members of the crew or her family heritage. Today the war was more intense than usual. She was besieged with her internal struggle of belonging especially since she was so far from home and any remnants of what she could call family. She had been thinking about her _abuela_ being that this was the anniversary of the last time she saw her. She surprised herself that she referred to her using the Spanish word for grandmother which she hadn't done since she was a child. She rarely if at all thought about her Klingon grandmother, L'Naan. It saddened her that she was never close to her Klingon grandmother as she was to her Nana Torres. The rift between her and her mother never did much to make her want to get to know her. She attempted to her L'Naan by singing the ritual funeral dirge at her mother's request but it was always her Nana Torres that she felt close to.

She really didn't have the time for such musings. The captain had ordered a full diagnostic of the warp core as well as the Bio Neural gel paks in anticipation of traveling through a little known part of space in the Delta Quadrant. Neelix had some knowledge of the area of space but only as far as trade and decent space ports to get repairs and some comfortable planetside resting location. He was able to recall that this was a fairly peaceful region of space from his past experiences. Seven of Nine's past experience with the Collective was able to supply even more information about potential hostile encounters but this particular region proved to be of no significant technological importance to the Borg so her knowledge was limited. B'Elanna had a hard time wanting to listen to any of Seven's warnings at first but eventually grew to trust her instincts although she would never mention it aloud to anyone especially to the ex-borg.

"Carey. How are the tests coming on the warp core? The Captain is expecting a report at 1500 hours."

"Chief, we have run into a snag. We…"

"A SNAG! Why wasn't I notified," the fiery chief yelled before Carey had an opportunity to finish.

"Chief, the problem was just discovered. When Seven came into engineering she looked at the preliminary test results and noticed the anomaly in the deflector array. We have been trying…" He was cut off again by the annoyed Chief engineer.

'Why is she always snooping in my business?' "Where is Seven now?" Carey just pointed toward to the direction of the deflector array command station afraid that he would be cut off again in mid-sentence. She followed his finger in the direction he pointed. There stood the tall blond running her fingers quickly over the console not evening seeming to have one strand of hair out of place in that perfect bun of hers.

"Seven do you mind!" said mostly as a statement then a question even though B'Elanna knew she would take it as a question.

"No Lieutenant. I am willing to provide assistance when needed," Seven tried to respond with the best air of cooperation. She had been trying to work on her social etiquette with the help of the Doctor.

"Seven what are you doing here in engineering? Don't you have to do research on the area of space we are about to enter?" B'Elanna replied trying to keep her frustration at a minimum. She was secretly happy that for the first time she didn't have all the answers.

"I have finished my assigned task and provided my report to the Captain." The half Klingon prior smugness regarding her lack of knowledge deflated a little. "I thought I would provide assistance with the diagnostic since Captain Janeway is expecting it at 1500 hours. I detected an anomaly in the deflector dish which would have an adverse effect on the optimal productivity of the warp core. I believe I can help."

B'Elanna didn't have the energy to protest that she didn't need Seven's help as much as she wanted to. It was 1345 and time was quickly running out. She knew that the Captain would understand if she informed her about the anomaly but didn't want to have to tell her that Seven discovered it because she was day dreaming about her grandmother's kitchen and banana pancakes.

"OK Seven so what have you discovered about the anomaly and what do **I** have to do to correct it," she said emphasizing the use of the pronoun I.

"I believe the problem is easily rectified. It appears to be originating from a conduit located in Jeffries tube 8, section 23. It would require the assistance of two people to be handled efficiently. I can take Lieutenant Carey and…"

"No! I will take care of the problem. After all, this is _my_ engineering department."

Seven thought it illogical that B'Elanna need to claim ownership of the engineering department especially since was the Chief Engineer but thinking it was better to not comment at present, she remained silent. She wanted to help out wherever she could especially in engineering. She liked her post in Astrometrics but found that her task were somewhat mundane when the crew did not immediately need her services or when they were traveling through a peaceful area of space as Mr. Neelix claimed this region to be. She was always dismayed when she realized that Lieutenant Torres believed that she didn't trust her ability as an engineer. She found the Chief Engineer more than capable. She also liked spending time around her to observe how she interacted with various members of the crew and the passion she exhibited in her daily activities. And it was this reason that Seven asked "Lieutenant may I be of assistance in providing the necessary repairs? I believe I have some theories on how to rectify the problem."

B'Elanna being too tired to argue and knowing that with Seven they should be able to correct the problem in no time, "Sure. What have we got to lose? Carey monitor the anomaly and notify me the instant there is any change, Seven and I are going to repair the problem." She was finding her relationship and attitude toward the former Borg mellowing the longer she was aboard Voyager and she was forced to interact with her. She started to notice that all her interactions were not meant to be arrogant and self righteous as she earlier thought. She began to believe that there were things that she even liked about the ex-Borg.

Fortunately Jeffries tube 8 was one of the larger of the crawl spaces so B'Elanna didn't have to be in such close contact with Seven. Once in the Jeffries tube, work proceeded uneventfully. During a lull in the work conversation, Seven asked a question that caused B'Elanna to almost drop the spanner tool she was holding.

"Lieutenant, what do you recall about your early development? The time you spent with your parents and family. I have very limited access to those memories and am curious to how that affects the development of an adult person."

For some reason B'Elanna didn't have a venomous reply to the question and didn't view it as an invasion of her privacy. Her mind went back to her thoughts from earlier in the day of her _abuela_ and the times she spent with her father. Seven looked at B'Elanna with curiosity when a smile broke out on the woman's face.

"Lieutenant is there something amusing about my request?"

"Oh, no Seven, you just made me remember the times I would spend with my grandmother and father."

"Those were pleasant times? Please elaborate."

And without much coaxing B'Elanna began to share times with her grandmother when she would tell her stories about her ancestors and teach her songs in Spanish. She wished she could still remember to still speak in her grandmother's tongue but all those years on Qo'noS and various other places in between, the language was lost except for a few words. "She used to make the most delicious food, especially my favorite banana pancakes. She tried to teach me but I was too small to reach the stove. My father and I would make up the most wonderful games. We would spend hours talking about the stars and taking apart and putting things back together again."

B'Elanna stopped talking and just sat there with this bittersweet smile on her face as more memories flooded back about that time in her life where she felt truly loved and at peace with herself. She was curious as to why she felt so comfortable telling Seven all this but there was something safe in their interaction.

Seven was unsure of how to respond or if she should. She sat there and watched her and soon went into her own thoughts of her parents. 'Is this why I asked her about her parentage?' She remembered the stuffed animal that her father gave her when he told her that they were going on a trip in on USS Raven in search of the Borg. She floated back to the times she stayed with her Aunt Irene when her parents were off working. She liked playing number games with her father and solving puzzles with her mother but after their trip into the Delta Quadrant all her individual memories ceased.

Both women were brought out of their thoughts by the sound of Carey's voice. "Chief, I don't know what you two did but the warp core, impulse drive and deflector dish are all reading at 100% efficiency."

"Thanks Carey. I will prepare my report for the Captain. I guess we are done here Seven. Thanks for your assistance," B'Elanna said with a genuine smile directed toward the former Borg.

"You are welcome Lieutenant. Thank you for sharing your memories of your childhood. I believe after you have prepared your report for the captain your duty shift will be complete."

"That's correct. What did you need?" B'Elanna hoped that she didn't need any repairs in Astrometrics. She was too tired to take on any unnecessary projects.

"I was hoping that you could join me in the mess hall while you fulfill your nutritional supplement for the evening and continue to tell me more of your memories from your childhood. The Doctor states that I should try other food stuffs beside the nutritional supplements that he has designed. You may assist me."

B'Elanna smiled at this request and mused 'Seven really seems to be trying to not be annoying. You know I did enjoy sharing my memories with her. I bet she doesn't have any pleasant memories of her childhood.' At that moment the ex-Borg transformed to a human with a limited past in the eyes of the Lieutenant instead of a rival and ex-Borg. She found herself looking at the girl in a woman's body standing in front of her. She was thankful that she had memories of her Nana and sad to think that Seven had no such memories of her own. She released a quiet sigh. "Sure Seven, I'll meet you there at 1530. Thanks."

After exiting the Jeffries tube, B'Elanna went to her office and Seven went back to Astrometrics. She thought of going to seek counsel with the Doctor but thought she had adequate information to proceed in her meeting with B'Elanna. She wondered why she had a desire to refer the chief as B'Elanna. For now she could only refer to her occasionally by name in her thoughts but when she personally addressed her, she experienced an increased level apprehension. After all, she had been a part of the Voyager crew for several years and grew to think of them as her collective and had been able to refer to some by their familiar designation. She had come to think of B'Elanna as the closest representation of a friend outside of the Captain, the Doctor and Naomi Wildman although that designation had not been officially discussed with Lieutenant Torres. She found the Chief Engineer fascinating and discovered feelings that she was not accustomed to when she was around her. She found herself feeling an increased amount of anxiety regarding her impeding meeting and could not come up with a rational reason why.

B'Elanna finished her report for the Captain sooner then she expected. After she transmitted it to the Captain she just sat there thinking about what had transpired in the Jeffries tube with Seven. When Seven wasn't being arrogant, she reminded her of her grandmother in the way she always listened when she wanted to tell her a story or when the other human children would make fun of her forehead. Seven may not have been comforting like her grandmother but she always appeared willing to listen more now than before. B'Elanna was glad about that because she had few close friends. After her dating attempt with Tom failed miserably and her friends from the Maquis formed relationships with the Starfleet crew, she felt more alone the usual. There was something else about Seven bubbling just under the surface that B'Elanna couldn't quite put her finger on.

Seven arrived at the mess hall at exactly 1530. She had a moment's disappointment when she arrived and B'Elanna wasn't there. She thought 'perhaps she changed her mind and felt that our discussion was futile and irrelevant.' Before her negative thoughts could go any further she was approached by Neelix who always seemed to be happy to see her.

"Seven! I'm so happy that you could join us this evening for dinner. Unfortunately most of the crew has eaten so you may end up eating by yourself. But not to fear I will be honored to provide you with company while you eat."

"Thank you Mr. Neelix but that will not be necessary. Lieutenant Torres will be joining me for dinner shortly."

Neelix grinned from ear to ear. "That's wonderful! I will set up a table by the window."

Seven sat facing the door waiting for B'Elanna. She appeared fifteen minutes after the appointed time. Seven noticed that she had changed out of her uniform and into black pants and a beige shirt. She barely made it to the table and greeted Seven before Neelix appeared.

"Well ladies what I can I get for you two tonight? How about some Talaxian stew?"

B'Elanna sat down across from Seven a little annoyed at his pushiness but didn't let it spoil her mood. "Neelix what I'm in the mood for is some Tamale pie. Do you have any of that?"

"Come to think of it, I do have some. Ensign Salinas asked me to make it for her for lunch. What about you Seven? Talaxian Stew or Tamale Pie?"

"I am not familiar with those dishes."

"Oh Seven my grandmother use to make Tamale pie all the time when I was a small child when my father brought me to visit her. You'll love it!" B'Elanna exclaimed excitedly. Memories came flooding back to her once again of those happy times with her grandmother and father. She was even more surprised at how eager she was to have Seven share her grandmother's dish.

Reacting off the chief's excitement seven replied "I believe the Tamale pie will be acceptable." B'Elanna smiled brightly at her choice.

"I'll be right back with your food and a glass of prune juice for you Lieutenant and a glass of water for Seven." Neelix hurried away to get the dishes for the pair.

"Lt. Torres you were delayed in your arrival this evening. Was there a problem? Anything I can assist you with?" Seven inquired.

"Sorry I was late. I wanted to change out of my uniform into something more comfortable. Hopefully you weren't waiting too long."

"No, only 14 minutes and 25 seconds." B'Elanna smiled at Seven's flair for precision. Seven felt relieved that B'Elanna did not take it as a comment on her punctuality but hoped that she would see it as genuine concern.

"Lieutenant may I ask you a question?" Seven asked hesitantly.

"Of course Seven" 'Hadn't you been asking me questions all day?' B'Elanna mused.

"You speak very fondly of your experiences with your grandmother and your father but you make no reference to your mother. Is there something deficient about your relationship with your mother?"

B'Elanna didn't really want to talk about her mother. Their relationship wasn't very good toward the last time they saw each other. The last time they spoke they fought about B'Elanna's lack of honor and turning her back against her Klingon blood. That was before she joined Starfleet Academy and the Maquis. Even though she felt she was the reason her father left when she was a child, she also secretly blamed her mother for not trying harder to stop him. Their relationship became so complicated and she felt that she couldn't live up to her mother's expectations as she had already failed her father's expectation.

Seven noticed the frown appearing on her face and the sadness in her eyes. "Have I engaged in a sequence of questions that are distressing to you Lt. Torres?"

B'Elanna had not realized how deep she had gone into her thoughts. "Sorry. I just was thinking about the last time I spoke to my mother." Without any prompting B'Elanna begin talking about her last visit her mother. "After I left Qo'noS, I didn't speak to her again. I guess I haven't had much contact with any family since that time. Joining the Maquis became the closest thing to family except after joining Voyager. But there is nothing that can replace your own family I think that is why I enjoyed sharing my happy memories with you earlier today."

"Here you go ladies. Enjoy! Is there anything else I get for you?" Neelix stated with his usual enthusiasm. Seven felt annoyed that they were interrupted just as she began to share her experience with her mother.

"This looks wonderful. Thank you. We better eat before it gets cold Seven," B'Elanna stated becoming very interested in her food and grateful for the distraction.

When they were nearly finished with their meal, Seven urged B'Elanna to continue with her account of her childhood.

B'Elanna slowly put her utensils aside realizing that she couldn't fake still being hungry much longer. She sighed heavily and launched into her story. "You know Seven, the times I spent with my grandmother and father before he left were very happy times for me. I didn't have to think about being different because I was half Klingon. With my mother she was always trying to make me into a better Klingon and we had some of our worst fights about it. I really did try to adapt to the Klingon ways but … Before my father left, he was my shield from her and all things Klingon."

Seven frowned and asked "You are not proud of your Klingon Heritage?"

"I have learned to accept it over time. I have even completed many of the rituals trying to maintain my honor."

Both women sat quietly for a moment. There were many questions Seven wanted to ask but felt that she did not want to seem too intrusive and have B'Elanna cease talking.

B'Elanna broke the silence, "I know you don't have many memories of your childhood but I'm sure you can remember some happy times with your family." She desperately wanted to get the focus off her at that moment and felt it only fair to have Seven talk about herself plus she was truly interested in who Seven was before the Borg.

"I do remember times spent with my aunt. She would prepare a confection named strawberry tarts that I recall being fond of." B'Elanna smiled at Seven's pleasant memory.

'I wonder if that is all she remembers of the people from her childhood' "That's nice Seven. My grandmother used to make sweet cakes that I use to love everytime I would go to visit her. They always made me feel better especially when the human kids would tease me about being Klingon. With my grandmother I didn't feel Klingon and for a time I didn't feel Klingon with my father… until he left because I _was_ Klingon." This last part she said as almost a whisper.

Seven realized that she felt something more for B'Elanna then concern…compassion.

"Lieutenant, it appears that we share some similarities with being caught in two worlds with our respective childhood experiences," Seven said with a genuine smile which received a like smile in return.

"Seven did you enjoy the Tamale pie? B'Elanna asked trying to change the subject to happier topics or at least neutral ones.

"Yes. Thank you for sharing something from your childhood."

"Seven do you mind if we change the subject?"

"Of course. What would you like to discuss?" From there the topic of conversation went from the newest discoveries in Astrometrics to theories on how to get more power to warp drive. They parted company after realizing that they had been talking for over two and half hours. They were unaware of the stares they were receiving from crew because they were so involved in their conversation with each other. B'Elanna wondered silently why it had been so easy to talk to her especially without fighting. She knew she enjoyed the change.

As they walked to the turbolift a satisfied smile fell over B'Elanna face. Seven was feeling the same but experienced in inwardly.

"Thank you for a pleasant dinner Seven. I enjoyed your company and the conversation," B'Elanna softly expressed with a gentle smile.

Seven cocked her head sideways with a curious frown and a slight lift of her ocular implant. "Lieutenant are you attempting to be sardonic with me?" Seven asked distrusting her comments based on their past experiences together.

"Seven, I'm not mocking you. I really did have a good time with you this evening. I know in the past you would expect me to say things like that to ridicule you but I truly enjoyed our time together tonight. I'm sorry that I have treated you so badly in the past but I did enjoy your company tonight," B'Elanna stated with sadness in her eyes and remorse in her tone.

Satisfied with her response, Seven replied, "I enjoyed our time as well."

As B'Elanna exited the turbolift, she smiled warmly at Seven and wished her a good evening before the doors closed to transport seven to Cargo Bay 2. Seven said in almost a whisper to the closed door, "Goodnight B'Elanna."

Before Seven stepped into her Alcove, she replayed the day's event regarding her interactions with B'Elanna and realized that she enjoyed their time together and that she wanted to spend more time with her engaging in various activities. She was puzzled over her desire to spend more time with the fiery half-Klingon engineering chief. Before she entered into regeneration cycle for the evening she recalled the last word spoken to her by the half Klingon, 'I'm sorry that I have treated you so badly in the past but I did enjoy your company tonight.' A slight smile was etched on Seven's face before the computers put her in her regeneration cycle.

B'Elanna could still smell the essence of Tamale pie or thought she did. Maybe she was just recalling the memory of those days in her grandmother's kitchen as she prepared to go to bed. As she began to drift off to sleep, her grandmother's and father's faces appeared in her thoughts. She also saw Seven's smile and her words thanking her for sharing her childhood with her. A flicker of confusion came across her mind as to why she was picturing Seven's face but the confusion was quickly replaced by the gentle blue eyes of the ex-Borg as she drifted off to sleep. She experienced the most peaceful sleep she has had in a long time.

**Chapter Two**

Everyone in Engineering noticed how much more pleasant the Chief was this morning. For those that were in the mess hall last night and saw her and Seven dining wondered if that had something to do with her mood.

B'Elanna checked in with her staff and handed out the days duty assignments. She checked on the status of the deflector dish and the other diagnostics they had run the day before to ensure that there were no other issues of concern that would need to be reported in the senior officer's meeting. As she punched keys on the appropriate consoles a slight smile began to show on her face. She began to recall her time she spent with Seven and the walk down memory lane she took her on.

As B'Elanna entered the conference room she noticed that there were only two available seats remaining, one next to Ensign Kim and one next to Seven. She chose the seat next to Seven even though the seat next to Harry was closer. This deviation in behavior did not go unnoticed by the Captain or Seven.

The meeting was fairly routine until Neelix brought up the issue of relaxation for the crew.

"Captain, the crew has had several stressful weeks with the attacks while going through Zaan space, and I believe some R&R is in order."

"We can increase Holodeck rations for the crew if you think that will help Mr. Neelix?" Paris chimed in.

"Well that would be great if everyone was as fascinated with the Holodecks as you are Tom," Harry playfully teased his friend.

Neelix smiled at the two men, "I was thinking of something that more of the crew could enjoy at one time and for a longer period of time. There is a planet that I heard of in this system when I would travel through to one of the space ports that is known for its hospitality, beaches and entertainment. I believe t is still on the same route toward the Alpha Quadrant so it would only be a short interruption in our journey."

"What's the name of this oasis in the stars? Chakotay asked with a smile secretly hoping the Captain would go for the idea.

"Planet Questa. Our presence wouldn't be a surprise. They are use to getting travelers from different parts of the quadrant. I believe you should be able to access information over subspace."

"I like the idea Captain." Harry said with excitement. "Its better then more Holodeck time," he teased his friend. Tom gave Harry a slight smirk but grinned very broadly at the idea as well. The others in the room with the exception of Tuvok and Seven smiled and nodded in agreement.

"Captain, it would be nice to have some down time to run complete diagnostics on all the ships systems and make repairs while we are not on the run from attacks or other crises that could up," B'Elanna stated.

"Captain it would be logical to allow the crew to relax in mass to alleviate the time that would need to be spent on the planet. It would also be easier to schedule work teams to execute the repairs Lt. Torres spoke of. Of course we would have to run security checks to ensure there is no danger on the planet," Tuvok added to the discussion with his serious demeanor.

"Well it seems everyone is in agreement. Seven please run an analysis of this sector and the Planet Questa and coordinate with Tuvok and give me a report by 1200. B'Elanna come up with a list of necessary repairs and coordinate appropriate work crews with Chakotay. If this works out I could do with a few hours by the beach myself," Janeway smiled at the potential prospect.

With that the meeting was adjourned.

Seven stayed behind after the others left the conference room. B'Elanna looked back with concern and wondered why Seven wasn't moving. She was usually the first one out door especially if given an assignment by the Captain.

"Seven, what's up…I mean what's the problem?" quickly changing her statement with something she thought the ex-Borg wouldn't misinterpret. She didn't want Seven to feel like she was teasing her or making fun of her literal interpretation of things. 'What's up is a funny phrase I guess.'

"Lieutenant, what is R&R? How do I know if this Planet Questa will be sufficient for such an activity for the crew?" Seven asked with sincere confusion written over her face.

B'Blanna couldn't restrain the chuckle that escaped her. She did not mean to laugh at the former-Borg's lack of knowledge regarding leisure activities or terminology. "Seven R&R means Rest and Relaxation." Seeing the confusion on the woman's face, B'Elanna tried to figure out the least complex way to explain the concept. "Its an Earth term to define off time from work or structured activities. It's the same thing when the crew uses the Holodeck to do activities that are fun. What do you do for fun?" She realized she never asked what Seven did when she wasn't working.

Seven thought for a moment then responded, "I do not require leisure activities. I regenerate after completing necessary task to ensure the proficiency of Voyager."

"Seven, everyone requires some type of leisure activity, even the Doctor."

"The Doctor engages in singing and learning Operas. He has attempted to teach me to sing as part of my socialization lessons. I do not understand the correlation between singing and social interactions. The Doctor does seem to elicit many curious looks from the crew when he does sing opera."

B'Elanna smiled at the thought of the Doctor singing opera. "I think he is teaching you to sing because he doesn't want to do it alone. Most people like to engage in leisure activities with other people. Do you like to sing with the Doctor?"

"The activity is satisfactory."

"Maybe you can sing for me sometime," B'Elanna stated quietly. Seven just stared at her in shocked silence.

"Uh…you know since you helped me out yesterday, maybe I can give you a hand researching this Planet Questa to see if its sufficient for some R&R," she quickly tried to recover from her sudden display of interest in one of Seven's leisure activity.

Once Seven recovered enough to speak, "That would be acceptable. Your assistance would be appreciated considering your knowledge of leisure activities." B'Elanna was happy that she accepted her offer to help. She looked forward to spending more time with her especially if it made her feel as good as the other day.

B'Elanna called down to Engineering to check on things. After hearing that things were running smoothly, she informed Lieutenant Carey that she would be assisting Seven in Astrometrics if she was needed. She ordered him to compile a list of repairs that the ship needed to be running at 100% and have it ready for her by 1100. She couldn't see the shocked faces of her crew who overheard her conversation with Carey but she could imagine their faces.

Seven did not have any specific knowledge of this planet from her time with the Borg. They were able to access some information from Neelix's data base from his time visiting the various space ports. Using long range scanners of the planet, they were able to discover they were a space traveling planet that specialized in recreation for travelers. B'Elanna thought it sounded similar to the Planet Risa in the Alpha Quadrant and they were even able to pick up some information from subspace as Neelix had suggested.

As the two women conducted their research on the planet and that region of space, they found themselves slipping into an easy conversation about leisure activities. B'Elanna did most of the talking while Seven asked questions about the ones she described. B'Elanna thought about the last camping trip she went on with her father and a wave of sadness came over her.

Seven noticed the change of affect on her face and quietly asked "Lieutenant are you distressed about something?"

The half-Klingon closed her eyes tightly to fight back the wave of tears that threatened to fall and took a few deep breaths before she felt confident to speak. "Sorry, I was thinking about the last camping trip I went on with my father before he left. That's a memory I have tried to keep locked tightly away. I have not wanted to go camping since then. I use to love to camp before that last time. I guess all the talk about childhood and finding a planet to relax on has brought all this up to the surface. Let's keep this between us…OK Seven? B'Elanna let out a heavy sigh in an attempt to release the weight of the memory.

Seven just nodded quietly and looked at the woman with a new level of compassion.

The information was transmitted to Tuvok. Before Seven could ask any more questions B'Elanna excused herself stating that she should get back to her duties in engineering. Before she walked out the door she turned and asked, "Seven how 'bout joining me for dinner again tonight? I could use some company. We can talk about the leisure activity you can do on the planet."

"That would be acceptable."

"Great! Meet you at 1700 in the Mess Hall," she said with a wink and was out the door.

Seven stared at the closed door almost expecting her to return to tell her she was joking. Seven tried to analyze the feelings she was experiencing and her thoughts about the Chief Engineer. She turned back toward her console and began reviewing all the leisure activities that the planet had to offer.

Back in Engineering, B'Elanna reviewed the list of repairs with Carey in her office that he had complied. He sat there half expecting her to come up with a half dozen things that he had missed or she felt were unnecessary.

"Carey, excellent work. We should probably prioritize the repairs that will be best done while orbiting the planet since I'm not sure how long the Captain will authorize shore leave for and I want our crew to enjoy their time off as well."

Carey sat there with his jaw in his lap not believing what the Chief had just said.

"Lieutenant are you OK? Did you hear what I said?" B'Elanna asked with concern.

"Sorry Chief…yes I think that's a good idea. I have some ideas as to what we can start on first," quickly recovering from his shock at being complimented by his task master Chief. He quietly wondered what had gotten into her and hoped that whatever it was would not change anytime soon.

The two engineers put together a list to present to Commander Chakotay.

B'Elanna brought the information to his office where they would compile work crews to complete the repairs. As they sat working on the crew list, Chakotay couldn't help but notice that there was something different about his friend.

"What's going on with you B'Elanna? Why are you in such a good mood lately?" he asked with an inquisitive grin.

"Why shouldn't I be in a good mood? With the prospect of actually having some actual time off and not just Holodeck time and being able to have genuine time to do repairs instead of on the fly like I usually have to, why wouldn't I be in a good mood?" she retorted with a smile.

"I was just wondering if it had something to do with how pleasant you and Seven have been lately with each other. The crew is talking about the fact that you worked together in engineering and having dinner together for several hours without one fight. It has people wondering that's all."

"You or the crew? Let people wonder as long as they stay out of my personal business," B'Elanna stated getting annoyed at Chakotay questioning. But why were his questions bothering her so much, they were friends after all. She shook it off. "Are we done with the crew assignments?" She was ready to be out of his office and back in engineering where she felt safe. She was starting to feel like she did when her mother would question her or the kids would make fun of her because she was half human.

"Yeah, I guess that's it. I will give our report to the Captain and get back to you as how to proceed." As B'Elanna got up to leave, Chakotay gently grasped her hand and waited until she was looking him in the eyes, "B'Elanna I hope you know I meant no disrespect to you but I'm happy that you are in good spirits lately. It seems like it's been so long that you have been happy. I care about you."

She squeezed his hand and smiled," I know and thank you. I'm not use to the feelings I'm having and am trying not to blow it. Let me know what the Captain wants to do." She quickly exited his office to return to engineering.

In the Captain's ready, Kathryn went over the PADDs from her senior officers. She sipped on her coffee and wondered if the planet was able to make anything close to the coffee that she longed for from Earth. She was pleased about the information she was reading. She had no doubt that it would be thorough given the caliber of the people that served in her command. She secretly was hoping the information regarding the planet would be positive because she knew her crew deserved some real time off. Not to mention she would enjoy some time to let her command mask down for a while as she soaked up some sun on the beach.

When meeting with Chakotay, he informed her about the change in B'Elanna of late. At first she didn't see any need for concern but after he left something kept nagging at her. She reviewed her file and there it was, yesterday would have been her grandmother's eightieth birthday. Knowing the history of her family background, Kathryn knew that this must be a bittersweet time for the Chief Engineer. Her first instinct was to go to her and offer her words of encouragement but knowing how private she was thought better of it. B'Elanna always sought her out when she needed her advice.

She chuckled quietly to herself, 'When I took over as Captain of Voyager I thought I would be commanding a crew of Starfleet Officers. Who knew I would become ambassador for new alien races in a foreign quadrant of space, peace maker between the Maquis and Starfleet, counselor for an emerging sentient EMH, shepherd for a crew lost so far away from home and surrogate mother to two women both discovering their humanity in their own special ways. I really need shore leave! This mother needs a break.'

Looking over the data PADDs one more time and finalizing her decision, she hit her comm Badge, "Janeway to Ensign Paris."

"Paris here, Captain," Paris responded.

"Paris, set a course to Planet Questa."

"Aye Captain, course laid in to Planet Questa," Paris responded not able to hide the excitement in his voice.

The Captain sat back in her chair and wondered what kind of trouble her band of misfit children would get themselves into during two weeks of shore leave. Then she mischievously wondered what kind of trouble she could get into during two weeks of shore leave.

The crew was buzzing with the prospect of shore leave planet side. The general mood of the crew had increased tenfold the closer they got to the planet. The Holodeck was used nonstop it seemed as the crew practiced their skill at various water sports especially since a holovid was made available with all the activities that were available on the planet.

Seven was growing more apprehensive the closer they got to the planet. Even though she and B'Elanna discussed many of the leisure activities she could partake in over several meals together it did nothing to ease her fear. B'Elanna even created a Holodeck simulation to help her prepare for participating in various activities. Seven did not share her fear with B'Elanna because she enjoyed the time she was spending with and finding out more about her life. And she didn't want her to know her weakness and fear.

B'Elanna was becoming excited about having shore leave on the planet and being able to share the leisure activities with Seven. She realized that she enjoyed teaching Seven about different ways to have fun but what was more shocking was that she was enjoying being with Seven and having someone to talk to about her life. She was always willing to listen and the questions she asked made her feel special not like she was being tolerated. No one was more shocked then B'Elanna when she realized that she truly cared for Seven.

They had set a time to meet in the Holodeck 2 to go snorkeling and B'Elanna had not arrived, in fact she was thirty minutes late. Seven began to wonder if she had grown tired of her and that showing her various leisure activities was a waste of her time. She thought that they had grown into friends but she knew that she may still be holding the fact that she was Borg against her still. Seven was unsure why she was harboring so much doubt and anxiety about what Lt. Torres thought. She had to find out.

"Computer. Location of Lt. Torres." She held her breath waiting for the computer to respond fearing what the reply may be.

"Lt Torres is in her quarters," the computer stated flatly.

"Seven to Lt. Torres"

No response. Seven grew worried and decided to go to her quarters to ascertain the situation in person. Because if B'Elanna had grown tired of her company she was willing to volunteer for extra duty shifts so she would not have to see her on the planet. Seven knew that she cared for B'Elanna and could not bear the emotions she may experience if she no longer valued her company.

When she arrived at her door, Seven had to take a few deep breaths before she pushed the door chime. There was no response. Seven pushed it again.

B'Elanna looked at the door annoyed by the intrusion. Wanting to make the annoying sound stop she asked, "Computer who is at the door?"

"Seven of Nine," came the response.

B'Elanna sighed loudly remembering that she had not shown to meet Seven at the Holodeck. She knew that Seven wouldn't give up easily but she didn't want her to see her like this. She also didn't want to damage the fragile friendship that they were forming and to B'Elanna's surprise she didn't want to hurt her either. The half Klingon slowly walked to open the door.

Finally B'Elanna appeared at her door. Seven noticed that her eyes were bloodshot and she appeared to have been crying. Concerned, Seven asked, "Are you injured Lieutenant?"

B'Elanna just stepped back inside her quarters and walked back to her couch where she had been looking at pictures. "What do you want Seven?"

"Lieutenant you did not meet at the pre-arranged time at Holodeck 2, I became concerned. Is there something wrong?" Seven wondered never taking her eyes off of B'Elanna.

"I'm just having a bad day!" B'Elanna snapped. "Can't I have a bad day?" The words came out harsher then she intended them to be. She couldn't let her know that she had been crying over something as overly sentimental as a holo-image. She feared that she had shown too much already to this woman. She didn't want Seven to see her as weak. There was a part of her that got pleasure from feeling open with another person.

Seven stood in her usual stance and stared at the emotional woman sitting on the couch. Her fears again surfacing that the time she had spent with B'Elanna was just a convenient diversion. But why was she crying? And why did she allow me into her quarters if she wanted to be left alone? Seven tried to decipher what might truly be occurring with the engineer.

Seven did not know what to say. She was unsure if she should say anything but felt she could not leave without saying something. "Lieutenant would you like me to leave you alone? I seem to have disturbed you."

"Why does everyone seem to want to leave me alone?" 'Tom, my father, my mother and now you.' B'Elanna was becoming angry with herself for becoming so irrational.

"I do not wish to leave you alone lieutenant. I was only inquiring about your condition." Seven was becoming distressed because she did not know what to do in this situation. It was not covered in any of the Doctor's socialization programs. So not knowing what to do, she continued to stand and wait.

B'Elanna looked up at the tall blond and realized that she did not run away like everyone else did in her life. 'Why is she still here?'

Seven not receiving any response from the half Klingon, turned to leave. B'Elanna jumped up from the couch and grabbed Seven's arm to stop her from leaving. "Wait! Don't go…please."

Seven stopped and turned around and faced B'Elanna. She looked at the hand that was touching her arm and felt warmth she could not remember ever experiencing before.

The Klingon could not look at the tall woman now that she was facing her and had her attention. "This isn't easy for me Seven.

"What is not easy? I do not understand your distress."

In way of response B'Elanna released Seven's arm and went back to the couch, showed her one of the holo-images she had been looking at before she came to her quarters. "This is my _abuela_ in her kitchen. I use to love spending time in her kitchen and her garden."

Seven followed B'Elanna to the couch. She did not know what to say. She was unsure if she should say anything. She knew from their many conversations that this woman was much cherished to her. Not being able to stand the silence Seven stated, "I am not sure… Is this picture causing you distress?"

B'Elanna swallowed hard before speaking. "Seven, I'm sorry that I stood you up but I ran into Naomi and her mother and they were talking about the fun they are going to have on the planet. When I came to my quarters to change, what they said starting me thinking about my childhood and I started looking at these images from my childhood." She said with an air of sadness in her tone. 'I'm so afraid that I can never be that happy again.'

"Lieutenant, I am unaccustomed to those feelings you are describing but from my time spent with Naomi Wildman and her mother and your account of your childhood, I know that those feelings are not irrelevant. I wish… I wish I could be of better assistance to you."

B'Elanna really looked at Seven for the first time since she entered her quarters. This time she was really looking at her and saw into those deep blue eyes a sadness that she had not noticed before. She took the ex-Borg's hand maintaining the gaze in her eyes and pulled her to sit next to her on the couch, "I didn't mean to cause you any grief Seven. Sorry if I worried you. I have enjoyed talking to you about my past but these are thoughts I have hidden away for such a long." Taking a deep breath she continued, "Some Klingon huh? I hope you don't hold this against me or spread it on the gossip comm." She tried to manage a weak grin. She still noticed the sadness in Seven's eyes and her heart constricted in pain for her new friend. Not releasing Seven's hand, B'Elanna took her free hand and without thinking softly stroked her cheek. She relished the feel of the soft skin against her hand and felt a charge run through her with the intimacy of the contact.

Seven was speechless. She did not know how to respond or react. She was moved by her words but thrilled by the compassionate contact. Not wanting the contact to end, she just sat there and enjoyed the moment.

Finally Seven spoke, "Lieutenant, I do not know…" She was cut off before she could finish.

"Seven please call me B'Elanna. After all that we have shared this last week, I think we can consider ourselves friends. And all my friends call me B'Elanna."

"Thank you Lieute…B'Elanna." She paused before continuing to speak not wanting to say what she originally was going to say, "You are an honorable Klingon and I think your grandmother would agree." Seven stated softly.

B'Elanna removed her hand from Seven's and leaned back on the couch, tucking her legs under her body. Seven looked at her hand and missed the warmth of the hand that was just there. She followed the missing hand as it went to lie in B'Elanna lap.

"Thanks Seven. I would like to think that's true." She picked up the holoimage again and looked at it again. I miss her alot you know; she was the only positive connection to my childhood and my father. I miss not having people that love me and make me feel protected like she did. And he did… for awhile."

"This crew cares for you. I know that Captain Janeway has maternal feelings for you as well."

B'Elanna smiled weakly at Seven knowing that she was trying to be as understanding as she knew how to be and was grateful for her efforts. She felt this woman genuinely cared for her. "Yeah I know Seven. Thanks for listening. I'm glad that we are able to bury the hatchet and become friends."

Seven felt her heart flutter at the mention of being referred to as B'Elanna's friend. Over the last few weeks their friendship had become increasing more important to her and she was willing to do what she could to maintain that level of affection from her.

"B'Elanna we still have 45 minutes remaining of our allotted Holodeck time, would you still like to engage in the leisure activity?" she stated hoping to get her mind on more pleasant thoughts.

"No. We will be at the planet tomorrow, let's just do the real leisure activities when we get our chance to go down to the surface. This walk down memory lane has made me hungry. What do you say we go to the mess hall and see what surprises Neelix has cooked up today. OK?"

Seven nodded in agreement and rose to move to exit B'Elanna's quarters. She looked back over her shoulder when B'Elanna wasn't following her to the door. She saw her placing the holo-image of her grandmother in the center of her table after tenderly placing a light kiss on the image and gently rubbing her fingers across the old woman's face.

Seven wanted to ask her why she performed that gesture with the image. But looking at her face she saw that there was a tear in the corner of her eye threatening to fall. Seven felt an overwhelming urge to walk back to her friend and envelop her in her arms and tell her that she would be alright. But before she had time to act on that thought, B'Elanna stood straight up and walked briskly in Seven's direction.

"OK. You ready to go? I'm starving."

She walked past Seven and out the door, this time leaving Seven lagging behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Living in the Past**

**By mapsnika**

**Chapter Three**

The ship was abuzz with excitement once Voyager reached Planet Questa. The crew was reporting early for their duty assignments in hopes that the repairs could be completed sooner so that there would be more time to spend on the planet.

B'Elanna was eager to get repairs under way and cherished the time to make corrections and repairs that weren't mere patch jobs. She hoped if she could get the ship to 95 to 98% efficiency, it would mean less work were the ship to hit real trouble on their journey back to the Alpha quadrant.

Seven was in contact with the planet's library and she was able to upload the most up to date star charts of the Delta quadrant as well as background information on species she was not familiar with in her time with the Borg. Because Astrometrics had more time to run consistent diagnostics, Seven had the easiest time with her repairs. She offered her help in Engineering which B'Elanna accepted. Although she was encouraged by just about everyone to start her shore leave, she didn't want to go to the planet without B'Elanna so she was motivated to help B'Elanna complete the repairs.

Although B'Elanna was one of the crew who encouraged Seven to begin her shore leave, she was secretly grateful that she chose to spend time with her in engineering and wanted to wait until she could join her on the planet.

B'Elanna was surprised when the Captain entered engineering halfway through her scheduled shift. The Captain was surprised when she spotted Seven and her chief engineering working at a console chatting away like old school chums instead of mortal enemies as had been their relationship in the past.

Both women turned in surprise when they noticed the Captain's presence.

"Captain is there something I can help you with?" B'Elanna asked hoping to hide her surprise and curiosity regarding the Captain's visit to engineering.

"No. I just wanted to check on how repairs are going. It seems you have extra help," as she looked in the direction of the blond Astrometrics' officer.

"Yes Captain. I believe we will be way ahead of schedule if this keeps up," the chief stated with pride. "Everyone seems willing to pitch in to help so we can all spend more time on the planet. How is everyone enjoying the planet so far?"

"Mr. Neelix was correct about all it has to offer. During my meeting with the planet government, they gave me a tour. The crew who have been to the surface have nothing but glowing comments about their off time. I can't wait to begin my shore leave. Well I don't want to keep you from your work. Carry on."

"Yes Captain."

Before Kathryn exited engineering she turned and called to B'Elanna, "I'm glad to see that you and Seven are working so well together." She had a big smile on her face as she walked through the door thinking to herself 'maybe this will be a good shore leave for everyone after all.'

"Lieutenant, why would the Captain be surprised with our working cooperatively together?" Seven inquired.

"Seven we do have a reputation for being at each other's throats especially with you being in my Engineering department," she responded with a chuckle.

"Yes I guess our current relationship is uncharacteristic of our past behavior toward each other. I prefer our current relationship."

"Me too. But we did have some colossal fights didn't we?" B'Elanna chuckled softly.

"It was never my intention to fight with you Lieutenant, I was only attempting to provide information that you appeared to be lacking," Seven stated trying to earnestly explain her past behavior.

Seven was unaware of the collective holding of breath by everyone in engineering waiting for the fiery half Klingon to explode at the ex-Borg. B'Elanna felt the mass intake of air by her team and inwardly laughed at their reactions. Funny, she didn't feel like getting mad at Seven but she knew she had to do something to break the tension in the room.

"Ahh Seven, you had to go and say something like that after we have been playing so nice together," B'Elanna laughed and patted Seven on the shoulder as she turned to continue work at the console. She could feel the tension in the room instantly decrease and some of the crew even smiled. "Come on Seven let's finish these last set of diagnostics and then get something to eat."

Although Seven was still adjusting to her need for nutritional supplements, she enjoyed the time with B'Elanna sharing a meal and talking. Their conversations had evolved from the daily routine of the ship's functions to the sharing of more intimate details about their lives. From her lessons with the Doctor she was actually beginning to see that she and B'Elanna were friends.

The noise level in the mess hall was even more boisterous then it was during one of Neelix's parties. Crewmen that had been down to the planet were excitedly recounting their day to other crewmen waiting their turn to go to the planet.

When Seven and B'Elanna entered the mess hall they were waved over to a table by Naomi Wildman and her mother. Naomi wanted to tell Seven everything about her day on the planet and all the things she and her mother did together. Both women just listened patiently as Naomi told them about the shopping, the different foods and the beach. Her mother was forced to listen quietly as well because it seemed that Naomi didn't stop talking long enough in order to take a breath. When it appeared that the child was finally winding down, her mother used that opportunity to interject, "Well we better get off to bed if we are going to have another big day on the planet." Her mother gently but firmly guided her daughter to the door. As she left the table she silently mouthed, "I'm so sorry."

As the mother and daughter exited the mess hall, B'Elanna laughed, "Well I guess Naomi had a good time today."

"It would appear that she had a pleasant experience with her mother," Seven added.

Both women got up to get their food and as they were returning to their table, Seven asked B'Elanna, "What do you plan to do on the planet?"

As they both sat down, B'Elanna contemplated the question for a moment. "I would like to take a nice quiet walk among the trees. Then I definitely want to hit the beach. What about you?"

"I believe I will access their historical data base regarding other species in this area of space and then I…."

"Wait! You are going to do research on your time off. What have I been showing you this past week? Nothing. Ok. I guess you will have to hang with me and let me show you again how to have fun," B'Elanna barked with sarcastic exasperation at Seven.

"B'Elanna, I do not wish to intrude on your planned activities, "Seven said quietly missing the sarcastic humor.

"My planned activities are best when shared…with a friend…with you," B'Elanna replied sheepishly with a genuine smile towards her friend. "Will you share them with me Seven?"

"I will comply," Seven stated quietly lifting her head to meet the eyes of her friend.

Seven and B'Elanna had another full day of repairs to complete before they would have an opportunity to go down to the planet. Having been so focused on the ship's repairs, shore leave and thoughts of her family, B'Elanna hadn't really put much thought to her growing friendship with Seven and how it truly came about. She knew that Seven wasn't the same emotionless Borg that she once thought her to be. She had given her the space to talk about her feelings regarding her childhood without judgment and seemed to truly listen…to truly care.

While working on a series of replicator couplings in a rather secluded area of engineering, the conversation once again focused on childhood experiences of Seven and B'Elanna. This time it was B'Elanna who broached the subject of childhood. Seven never complained when she initiated any type of conversation especially of a personal nature.

"Seven, you ever wondered what your life would be like if your parents had made different decisions about researching the Borg? Not coming to the Delta quadrant." B'Elanna asked Seven not looking at her as she replaced a bad coupling.

Seven stopped working and looked at B'Elanna. She was unsure how to answer the question because she felt she did not have the ability to imagine. "I have never contemplated a different outcome for my life. I do not have an adequate frame of reference or life experiences before the Borg to know what my options could have been."

"That's sad Seven," B'Elanna said softly with a heavy sign. "I sometimes think about that a lot. Like what would my life be like if I was a full human or full Klingon? How would things be different for me if I was raised by my human grandmother? You know… what kind of person I would be today."

"Are you displeased with your life today, B'Elanna?"

"There are a few parts of my life am I happy with but I can't help regret all the mistakes that I made along the way. There is still so much I wish I could have done differently growing up."

"Explain." Seven said simply.

At this simple request, B'Elanna put down what she was working on and turned to face Seven for the first time since beginning this topic of conversation. She at first wanted to avoid direct eye contact for fear that she may see disapproval from her newly established friend. She always felt that she saw disapproval in the eyes of those she cared about and respected. She saw that disapproval in her mother and father's eyes because she was either too human or too Klingon. She saw it in Chakotay's eye's every time she failed at following an order. The Captain had that same look of disapproval when she struggled to contain her Klingon temper. She couldn't bear to see that look in Seven's eyes.

When she realized that she had not said anything for a few minutes, B'Elanna found the courage to look at Seven. What she saw made her hearts skip because her eyes showed the caring and compassion that she discovered that Seven was so capable of but rarely showed. Looking into her soft blue eyes she felt like she was looking into the warm eyes of her _abuela_ and she could tell her anything.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to steady her emotions, B'Elanna quietly began to answer Seven. "I felt…no that's wrong, I know it was my fault that my father left us…me… as a child. I always seemed to make mistakes when I couldn't control my temper when the other human children teased me. If I only could have been more human…he would have stayed with me." B'Elanna closed her eyes again as she said this last part and bit her lip in order to try to keep her emotions in check.

Seven noticed this deviation in her body language and the struggle B'Elanna was having trying to maintain an emotional balance. She struggle with the thought of what to say or should she say anything. Everything that was in her said that her friend needed reassurance at that moment. "B'Elanna, how can a child be responsible for the actions of an adult? I feel you have committed no error. You were being who you were created to be. Just as I was after I was assimilated by the Borg, I was created to be a drone."

"What are you saying Seven? I was meant to be a half-breed." B'Elanna retorted.

"I am saying that you had no control in your creation but you can be in control how you embrace that creation."

"Is that what you did? Embrace being a Borg drone?" B'Elanna felt that old anger begin to rise as Seven talked about her time with the Borg. She was troubled at the ease she appeared to talk about her time as a Borg as if it was as normal as breathing.

"I had no control over being Borg just as I had no choice in being severed from the collective by Captain Janeway. Now I have to learn to embrace my humanity and still being Borg." Seven calmly explained. She sensed the agitation from the half Klingon and feared that their friendship had been short lived.

Hearing her talk about having no choice to leave the Borg, her mood softened. She knew what it was like to be forced into a decision without choice. Although she knew that Seven was happy aboard Voyager, she also knew how hard it was for her in the beginning and felt a pang of shame because she added to her difficulty.

"I guess we are both half-breeds. We both have to learn to get along in two worlds."

"I have been able to draw strengths from my Borg existence as well as my human existence. You are Klingon and human, both have strong qualities that you should be proud of and not wish to change."

At this, the half Klingon gave a weak smile, "Seven I think you need to lay off the philosophy data base." Becoming serious, she stated "That sounds like something my grandmother would say. I just wish I could believe it."

Feeling an increased self confidence, Seven continued on. "You have achieved many great accomplishments since becoming a member of this crew. You have assisted this crew in keeping them safe multiple times. You have also assisted in saving my life as well. Your grandmother and your parents would be pleased with your performance."

"Seven, I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I feel that I can't keep control over my emotions regarding the past."

"Do you need to see the Doctor?"

"No. I think I'm just in need of some R&R. Let's just get this done. Forget about my emotional ramblings."

"You do not wish to continue this line of conversation as we complete the work task?

"Let's just change the subject to something more pleasant like having fun on the planet. OK?"

"That is satisfactory with me."

They continued working in silence for a while longer until Seven asked," What activity is having fun?"

B'Elanna let out a heartfelt laugh and said,"Oh Seven, what am I going to do with you?" For the first time that statement carried more than one meaning for B'Elanna.

**Chapter Four**

That evening in the mess hall, the same excitement as the previous days was present. Neelix was roaming from table to table of various crewmen as they told and retold of their adventures on the planet. He was pleased that he was doing so well as Morale Officer for Voyager.

A rather boisterous conversation was occurring between Tom Paris, Harry Kim and several other members of the crew. Chakotay hearing the enthusiastic laughter coming from the table joined in on the fray.

"It was the most amazing thing I ever experienced," Harry stated.

"It was better than a Holodeck program," Tom added.

"Well what was it? What made it so amazing?" Ensign Trak asked with excited curiosity.

"Well…"both Tom and Harry responded in unison. They both looked at each other and laughed. Harry conceded to Tom to tell the story with a wave of his hand.

At this time B'Elanna and Seven entered the mess hall. Seeing Chakotay and Harry along with other crewmates, B'Elanna pulled Seven's arm to join the group. Seven went along not allowing her anxiety to show regarding being around so many of the crew in a social situation. It wasn't until she got to the table that B'Elanna noticed that Tom was the center of attention of the group. It was fortunate that they ended their relationship with the ability to remain friends. After several heated arguments, icy cold stares and a long silence they were able to be friends.

"So what is everybody talking about?" B'Elanna asked with curious grin.

The group looked back at who had spoken. Not surprised to see the Chief Engineer standing there but there were more than a few inquisitive stares as to why Seven was standing next to her. Fortunately no one had the poor sense to make any comments as to her presence there especially considering that the Commander was standing there and the temper of the half Klingon. It was rumored the two adversaries had buried the hatchet and not in each other's skulls. It appears the rumors were true.

"Tom was just about to tell us of this amazing activity he and Harry experienced on the planet," Ensign Trak stated.

"Well if there are no other interruptions." Tom added trying to add to the suspense of his tale with a sarcastic air. "They have this device that runs on the same principle as the Holodeck but sets up the programs based on your own memories. It's amazing."

"So does it read your mind?" Chakotay queried.

"In a way." Harry interrupted wanting to get in on the tale, "You can tell the computer what memory you want to re-experience. Because our minds tend to remember certain aspects of a memory this device has the ability to re-create all the small nuances of the memory and have you re-experience it as it was when it originally happened."

"But how can it recall everything the way it originally occurred?" inquired Ensign Trak skeptically. "As a child or even as an adult, you have a tendency to distort information especially if it is experienced in a heightened emotional state. Can the device correct for distortions of your memories?"

"That's the fascinating part of this technology; it recalls the memories that are recorded in our brain synapses not from our memory recall. So instead of remembering just how good the taste of ice cream was from your childhood birthday party it will recall the color of the bowl you ate it in as well as the texture of the table you sat at. You actually relive the memory," Harry stated impressed with his own understanding of the technology.

"You have to go through a scanner after you have selected a memory you want to experience. You can then pick the exact memory if there is more than one with similar parameters," Tom added.

"So it does read your mind for the exact memory," Chakotay reiterated again.

"If you think in terms of an image recorder like a holo-imager, it reads the memories that are recorded in the four lobes of the brain," Harry stated.

"What if you are not human or only half human?" B'Elanna spoke up for the first time. This process had been intriguing to her especially with the thought of reliving a pleasant memory.

"Because they get so many different species that visit their planet they have a data base of various physiologies of different species. They also have the technology to record new species in order to store in their data for future reference."

"Harry it seems like you spent more time researching the technology then enjoying the activity?" B'Elanna said teasingly to the junior officer.

"Well I wanted to make sure it was safe to use." Then with a twinkle in his eyes he added, "I also wanted to see if we could acquire the technology to add to our Holodeck matrix program."

At that point Harry and Tom were bombarded with questions about the technology, the device and the memories they chose to re-experience.

After the conversation died down, Seven and B'Elanna went to go get some food. Seven seemed wary after hearing Neelix read off the available selection for dinner. B'Elanna seeing her reaction chuckled quietly. She decided to help her chose the mildest of the selection he was offering. "Try the vegetable stew, I think you will like it Seven. It's not as spicy as the chili."

Seven nodded her head in agreement. Neelix handed her the bowl of the vegetable stew and a bowl of Bolian chili to B'Elanna. The mess hall had begun to clear out so it was easy to find a table. They sat in a comfortable silence. B'Elanna had been thinking about the holo-experience that Tom and Harry had taken part of on the planet. The thought of sitting in her grandmother's kitchen eating banana pancakes again brought a smile to her face. She wondered if the experience was as simple as Harry explained.

Noticing the smile on the Lieutenant's face, Seven inquired, "B'Elanna is there something humorous about your meal?"

"No. I was just thinking about the holo-experience on the planet. I wonder if it can recreate memories as realistic as the guys described. I know Tom has a tendency to exaggerate when he's excited about something. Harry too, especially if he's caught up in a Tom scheme. But you have to wonder."

"Are you thinking of trying the experience? I can conduct an intensive diagnostic of the process to ensure its safety if you would like."

"That's ok Seven. Even though they were excited I'm sure they checked out the experience adequately. Would you try it with me? It could be fun." B'Elanna was curious but somewhat troubled by the experience. What if the memory it generated was different then what she re-called. How would she feel about that? Maybe she could find out the truth about what happened the last time she was with her father. At that thought, an increased level of anxiety and fear crept into her mind. 'Am I brave enough to face those memories? What if it confirms that I was the reason he left me?'

Seven spoke bringing B'Elanna out of her thoughts. "Would you want me to experience your memories or would you want me to accompany you as you participated in the experience?" She wondered why she would want her to join in such a personal activity with her. 'Has our friendship grown more than I had originally realized?'

"Maybe you can recreate your own memory."

"I don't think I have a need to re-experience any of my time with the Borg as I have a perfect memory of everything I did as a member of the collective." Seven's face took on a subtle pained expression. "I do not wish to relieve my experiences with the Borg as it would mean reliving causing countless species harm."

B'Elanna silently cursed herself for asking such an insensitive question without specifying that she didn't mean when she was a drone but before when she was with her family. She was happy that Seven confirmed that she had negative feelings about her time with the Borg and she did feel some remorse for what she did. It made B'Elanna glad that she allowed herself to be friends with this caring woman and ashamed that she used to think of her as an emotionless drone.

"Seven, I'm sorry. I wouldn't want you to re-experience those painful memories either. I was thinking about a time before, when you were a child with your parents before you knew there were Borg," B'Elanna tried to apologize and explain what she meant hoping she would see that she was not trying to be cruel and insensitive.

"I do not see the point of such an endeavor. It will not change my memories of my time with my parents."

B'Elanna felt that she had made Seven angry even though her tone didn't change but there again was that subtle pained expression on her face. She seemed to be constantly needing to apologize to this woman and causing what she feared the most, the look of disappointment in her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I was only thinking that you could experience the love and happiness of those times as a child like me with my grandmother," she said quietly staring at her empty bowl afraid to make contact with those deep blue eyes.

The women fell into an uncomfortable silence with each lost in their own thoughts.

Seven had never thought about what it would be like to experience that time with her parents. She was experiencing a heighten level of trepidation about such an activity. She should not be feeling this way since she remembered those events with perfect clarity thanks to her time with the Borg. 'Is experiencing them different then remembering them? Would it teach me more about discovering my humanity? Maybe B'Elanna would be able to help me answer these questions. '

B'Elanna thoughts turned darker the longer they sat in silence. 'I have disappointed her just as I did my father and my mother. It isn't fair to pull her into her past just because I have been obsessed with mine the last couple of weeks. Maybe I am scared to relive those memories. I don't want her to feel she has to do this to be my friend. I wish she would say something because I know I will probably say the wrong thing again.'

"Why is this so important to you, B'Elanna?" Seven said in almost a whisper.

'Oh man…more questions. I guess I did ask for her to say something.' "I'm not that sure. I guess I want to feel the warmth again of my grandmother's love."

"But your father is an integral part of your memories of your grandmother as well as your feelings about your mother. How will you handle if there parts of your experience that is unpleasant?"

"Um…maybe it's…maybe I need to know the truth to be at peace with my past. Maybe it will help me be at peace with who I am now." She said with a fake show of confidence. She hoped that would be true but her doubts were growing.

"Then the memory of your grandmother's love is not enough for you to be at peace with yourself?

"I'm not sure anymore, especially knowing there may be something more that can make it real again. I really understand if you don't want to do this Seven. Your past is very different from mine. I just need to know that I can talk to you about what it's like for me…if I chose to do it."

With that last comment, Seven raised her ocular implant and asked, "You are uncertain if you wish to engage in this activity?"

"I don't want to take away the fun of our shore leave by pursuing a selfish activity. To tell the truth, I think I'm a little afraid of what it could mean. What would you like to do on the planet? And please don't say research." She rushed this last part in a weak attempt to change the subject.

"I will follow your suggestions as to recreational activities since my experience is limited." She stopped for a moment lowering her eyes to the table. She then looked up to meet the wounded half Klingon, "B'Elanna, I will also participate in the holo-experience with you in what ever capacity you are comfortable and will be agreeable to discuss the experience with you."

With that B'Elanna smiled brightly not only because Seven will participate with her in the holo-experience but more importantly Seven didn't appear to be disappointed with her weakness. She was still her friend. She also realized how much Seven was beginning to mean to her and cherished this friendship more then she could express.

The two women's conversation turned to lighter subjects when they began to talk about the leisure activities they planned to do on the planet. As they parted company for the evening, they both knew that their friendship had grown more today.

Just before B'Elanna reached her quarters she received a call on the COMM.

"Captain Janeway to Lt. Torres."

"Torres here Captain"

"B'Elanna please report to my ready room."

"On my way Captain"

'God what does she want this late. I really just want to go to sleep,' B'Elanna thought with annoyance.

B'Elanna sounded the chime for entrance to the Captain's ready room.

"Come"

B'Elanna entered and found the Captain not sitting behind her desk but lounging on her couch going over various PADDs sipping what she knew to be a cup of coffee.

"Is there a problem Captain?" the chief engineer asked cautiously hoping that she had not found any problems that would interfere with her shore leave with Seven.

"No. No not at all. Please sit down. Can I get you something to drink? Janeway said throwing the PADDs to the side.

"No thanks. I just finished dinner with Seven."

Kathryn formed a sly grin on her face at B'Elanna mentioning Seven's name as if she were talking about any other crewmember, maybe except for Tom. It was only last month that she had called the two women in her office to settle yet another argument between them. What had changed between them? Whatever it was, she was glad that her half Klingon charge had taken a fondest for her ex-Borg charge. Had the lion finally lain down with the lamb?

"B'Elanna I wanted to congratulate you on the wonderful job you and your team have done with the repairs throughout the ship. We definitely will be in a better position to deal with any trouble we might encounter in our journey back to the Alpha quadrant.

'She called me to her ready room to tell me this. She could have just sent me a video COMM message.' B'Elanna realized she was more tired than she thought. She always relished receiving a compliment from her Captain and knowing that she had pleased her. Kathryn was the closes thing she had to a mother and wanted to make her proud.

"Thank you Captain but it was definitely a team effort. Knowing that spending more time on shore leave was all the motivation that most of the crew needed to get the job done." She paused realizing that the Captain had another agenda then complimenting her on her work. "I know you didn't call me to your ready room to praise me for the repairs to the ship. What's going on?"

Dropping her commander mask and donning her maternal mask, she launched into her real purpose for bringing her Chief to her office. "B'Elanna, I understand you and Seven have been spending quite of bit of time together. Oh…don't get me wrong, I approve whole heartedly. It's about time you two realized that working together is a better way to go…"

"But not nearly as fun." B'Elanna cut her off with a mischievous smirk.

"Maybe so, but better on my nerves not to mention the poor crewman who is unfortunate enough to find himself in the middle of one of your …er…disagreements with Seven." Both women share a good natured chuckle before Kathryn continued. "I hear you both are going to the planet together. I don't have to remind you of Starfleet protocol about relations with other worlds, do I?"

"No Captain. I just want to enjoy all the pleasures the planet has to offer. Seven has never really had an experience of recreational activities, except in her Velocity games with you or singing lessons with the Doctor. I thought I would show her how to have fun."

The Captain's face turned serious as she asked, "Lieutenant, why the change of heart towards Seven all of a sudden? I hope you don't plan on leaving her stranded if someone more "fun" comes along."

A month ago, the reality of the Captain's statement would have been closer to the truth then she could bare to think about now. "I understand your fears, but I have grown to realize how wrong I was about her. We have shared many heartfelt conversations about our past and family. Well…mostly my family, she's just a good listener. I know it's hard to believe but I am looking forward to spending time planet side with Seven." Looking compassionately in her Captain's eyes she stated softly,"We have formed a real friendship. I would do nothing to harm that."

Recognizing the sincerity in her eyes and voice, Kathryn smiled knowing that both her adopted daughters had found a friend in each other. "B'Elanna I know it has been difficult for you especially lately. I know that your relationship with your family has been…I know it been hard for you being so far from home. I'm glad you can talk to Seven." Kathryn thought better of bringing up her grandmother's birthday but gave her an understanding smile. "Thank you for the chat. You two have a well deserved break on the planet."

The Captain stood and B'Elanna took her cue that their conversation was concluded. She was glad that the Captain didn't press any further about her family. She didn't know if she could handle another person knowing her insecurities. Before walking to exit the Captain's ready room, she turned and impulsively gave her Captain a brief but heartfelt hug. "Thank you Kathryn." She turned and rushed out the door before she could respond.

Captain Janeway stood there in shocked silence for a moment with a ridiculous grin on her face. She quietly mused to herself, 'What am I going to do with my misfit group of children.'


	3. Chapter 3

**Living in the Past**

**By mapsnika**

**Chapter Five**

Seven had arranged to meet B'Elanna at 0900 to begin their recreation on the planet. B'Elanna arrived at the transporter room at 0915 to find a miffed Seven.

"You are late B'Elanna Torres. It is fifteen minutes past our arranged meeting time," Seven stated trying her best to appear annoyed with her friend.

"Why Seven I think you are more excited about going to the planet than I am." She responded with a smirk. She then had a scowl on her face looking at how Seven was dressed. "Seven you don't plan to go to the beach in your biosuit, do you?"

"How should I be dressed? This is efficient attire for a multitude of activities." Seven looked at what she was wearing honestly not understanding the problem with her clothing.

B'Elanna slapped her ridged forehead, "What am I gonna do with you? People wear shorts and swimsuits to the beach, sandals and sunglasses. I bet you don't even have a towel to sit on the sand either. Well I guess we will have to go replicate you the proper beach attire. Come on."

Seven followed B'Elanna out of the transporter room, not noticing the Ensign at the control console trying to keep her giggles under control.

Arriving at her quarters, B'Elanna quickly went to the replicator and began to get Seven the proper beach attire eager to get down to the planet. Not turning around to look at her friend, she asked if they should take extra clothes to change into for dinner. Seven still had not said a word since leaving the transporter room. B'Elanna turned and finally looked at her and noticed sadness in her eyes, "What's wrong Seven?"

"I should not go with you to the planet."

"Wha…why? What's wrong?" horrified that Seven didn't want to spend time with her.

"I appear to be interfering with you ability to have fun."

Breathing a sigh of relief after realizing what the issue was. "Seven, I only want you to be comfortable at the beach. I thought that wearing the same type of clothes that others would be wearing, you would be able to fit in better. But you don't have to wear something you are uncomfortable with wearing. I'm just happy that you are going to the beach with me."

Seven stood there staring at the replicated clothes in B'Elanna's arms and noticing the disappointed tone in her voice, she smiled and stated, "I will comply with the appropriate beach attire and commence with our beach activity.

Smiling back with a toothy grin, she thrust the clothes in Seven's arms and pushed her to the bedroom, "Great, now hurry up and change so we can commence with the fun. I will replicate something for us to wear to dinner tonight." She smiled thinking of the blond woman changing in her bedroom and wondering what she looked like under that biosuit. 'Oh Kahless what am I doing? She's my friend and thoughts like that is the quickest way to blow it.' In an attempt to get her mind on more neutral topics, B'Elanna nervously looked around her quarters trying to find something to take her mind off of her thoughts about the beautiful blond ex-Borg dressing in her bedroom. She spotted the holo-image she had placed on her table a few days ago. She went over and tenderly picked it up and began to softly speak to the gentle image of her grandmother. "Nana, what's wrong with me? I try so hard to make people happy but I never feel like I can be happy. I wish I was in your garden or sitting in your lap listening to your stories. _Abuela_, you still love me, right?"

"Is this sufficient for fun on the beach?" Seven asked coming out of the bedroom snapping B'Elanna out of her conversation with her grandmother. She quickly replaced the image on the table turning to meet Seven's questioning face hoping she did not hear her conversation with her Borg enhanced hearing.

"Wow! Seven you look great. If we don't have fun now then there is something wrong." B'Elanna was in awe of how beautiful she looked in her purple one piece swim suit and floral sarong. She started to feel a bit out of place in her navy blue board shorts and black tank top next to Seven but then she thought about the jealous stares she would get from the other beach lovers because of who she was with and a sneer came to her lips.

Seven was not feeling comfortable in her beach attire especially because of the amount of flesh it revealed but was happy that B'Elanna was satisfied with her attire.

"Well let's go before they run out of beach." B'Elanna said with a wide smile.

"I believe it is unlikely that there will not be beach space to accommodate those going to the beach today." Seven said with all seriousness, although B'Elanna swore she saw a twinkle in her eyes that said she was kidding with her.

"Seven you almost had me going there. See, you are already starting to have fun."

As they walked out the door, B'Elanna thought she heard a voice talking to her, "_Mija_, remember to have fun too."

"Did you hear that Seven?

"No. I heard nothing, B'Elanna. Do you wish me to check the sensors to see if there is a foreign entity aboard Voyager?"

Seeing the concern on Seven's face, "No I think I am just excited to get to the beach and relax." Before the doors to her quarters closed, B'Elanna turned quickly to look in the room and then chastised herself for being silly.

The beaches on Planet Questa were more beautiful then the information that had been found had described. The sand was a fine sliver with beautiful fuchsia waves that gently lapped the shore. There were many different species of aliens enjoying the water and sand. Many of which they had not encountered in their travels in the Delta Quadrant. There were couples, groups and families either playing in the water, enjoying what seemed to be a game similar to volleyball played on earth or just simply enjoying the sun.

Seven and B'Elanna were waved over by other crewmates from hydroponics and beta shift from engineering. Unsure if Seven would be comfortable socializing with a large group of people. "Seven we don't have to join them if you don't want to?"

"The Captain and the Doctor are always encouraging me to socialize with others aboard Voyager; this could be a good opportunity to practice my socialization skills." She paused and then reconsidered the question again. "Do you not wish to join the others?"

"I don't mind. I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I will be right there with you, ok?"

"That will be acceptable." Seven brighten hearing of her friends desire to stay close to her.

Seven was surprised how welcoming the other crew members were to her presence. She was also aware of how much attention B'Elanna was paying to her ensuring that she was having a good time almost to the exclusion of her own enjoyment.

B'Elanna appeared to become distracted as her fellow crew members sat on the beach enjoying the sun and each other's company. She was concerned that Seven wasn't enjoying herself especially since she felt that she forced her to come along. For some reason it became important that the former Borg was enjoying her true first time engaging in leisure activities with the crew. She wanted her to feel included and accepted. B'Elanna's thoughts transported back to the camping trip she went on with her father, uncle and cousins. Not even her father could make her feel accepted by her family. I guess I was too Klingon for them. At that thought, she vowed that no one, including herself would make Seven feel too Borg to be around them. _"Mija, don't worry so much." _She looked around again for the location of the voice.

"B'Elanna! B'Elanna!" Ensign Peters was almost yelling at her. She finally had to touch her on her shoulder to get her attention.

"What! What the matter? What did you call me?" B'Elanna stated with confusion being jarred from her musings.

"You were a million light years away. I was wondering if you wanted to go water surfing with the rest of us. Seven said you two had been practicing on the Holodeck before we got to the planet."

Seeing the exchange between the B'Elanna and the Ensign, Seven became worried. "Are you feeling well Lieutenant? Do I need to take you to see the Doctor on Voyager?"

"Oh no Seven, I must have got too caught up in my day dreams. So you want to practice your water surfing skills? Sounds like fun." B'Elanna hoped that would get Seven and everyone else's attention off her and on to something more enjoyable. 'Great job B'Elanna trying to help Seven have a good time. Now you got her worried about you. She probably thinks you are defective. Maybe there is something wrong with you since you seem to be hearing voices.'

"I believe the activity would be enjoyable. Are you feeling up to participating as well?" Seven stated with a slight tone of worry in her voice.

"I'm game if you're game!" B'Elanna declared with almost too much enthusiasm.

"Great! Let's go. There's a water equipment station next to the shore." Ensign Peters exclaimed excitedly as she rallied the rest of her crewmates to join in on the activity.

Walking over to get the needed equipment, Seven continued to stare at B'Elanna. She thought that the Engineer's behavior was not customary behavior for the event they were participating in. She was becoming concerned that her presence was causing the Chief Engineer distress.

B'Elanna noticed that Seven was staring at her. "What is it Seven? Do I have sand on my face or something?" she asked hoping the joking would lighten the mood.

"Is my presence causing you distress Lieutenant?" Seven asked with all seriousness.

'Stupid! Now she really is feeling uncomfortable and probably disappointed in me as well. Do something fast to fix this, hybrid' Capturing Seven's eyes with her own, she hoped she could find the right words to show her that she wanted her with her. "Its B'Elanna remember? And no, I am enjoying having you here and really excited that you want to go water surfing with the group. I told you I would help you to have fun." B'Elanna hoped that Seven would equate the perspiration beads forming on her ridged forehead with the sun and the pace they were keeping to stay with the others and not the nervousness she was feeling.

Staring into the brown eyes of her companion for a long moment, a small smile appeared on Seven's mouth as she replied, "I am enjoying being here with everyone … and you. I was apprehensive at first but I am finding the experience enjoyable. Thank you for encouraging me to participate in recreational activities"

B'Elanna let out a breath she did not realize she was holding as she stared at the full lips of the tall blond. "Good. Let's catch up with the others."

B'Elanna was surprised at how much fun she was having with Seven and the rest of her crewmates. They played in the water most of the day only stopping to have a light lunch. Even though she was enjoying herself, she found that her attention would be drawn toward a group of children playing with their parents or families laughing and playing in the water or sand. During these times she would get melancholy and a sad expression would appear on her face. Seven caught her one time in one of these moods and so B'Elanna had to work extra hard to keep herself focused or at least try better to hide it better from Seven.

As the temperature started to cool, the Voyager group started to disperse to begin their evening activities. Many promised to meet up again tomorrow to continue the fun on the beach.

"B'Elanna, should we not prepare to partake in our evening nutritional supplement?" Seven queried as the group started to separate. They were lying on the beach drying off. Well Seven was sitting observing the beach goers around her and B'Elanna was staring at the long form of Seven silhouetted by the setting suns.

B'Elanna chuckled, never quite use to how she referred to meals. "It's having dinner and yes I think that's probably a good idea. After all the physical activity I have worked up quite the appetite."

Seven jumped up and begin to gather their belongings. Noticing that B'Elanna had not moved she asked, "Is there a problem?'

"Seven are you planning on going back to the ship? I mean do you have to regenerate tonight?" She drew lazy circles in the sand not looking at the figure standing above her.

"I will not need to regenerate for another 5 days. Why do you ask?"

"I was thinking we could get a couple of rooms and stay on the planet. We don't have to be on duty for another 48 hours and who knows the next time we will be able to have this much leisure time away from the ship. It could be fun."

"Will our presence be missed on the ship?"

"Nah, I'll contact the Captain and let her know we are staying planet side. And besides I wanted to get there early to try out that holo-memory experience that Tom and Harry were talking about. They said that there are usually a lot of people waiting to try it. What do you say, Seven? Wanna stay?" B'Elanna was looking at Seven trying to give her best puppy dog face hoping that Seven would agree to stay.

Thinking thoughtfully for a moment, "That will be acceptable. Where should we go to find nourishment?"

"We will find something in the town square. You'll see that this will be more relaxing then having to go back to the ship and then having to transport back here tomorrow." B'Elanna jumped up and started to help gather their things.

While walking back to the main village Seven stopped and asked, "What shall we do about additional attire to wear tomorrow?"

"We will do what everyone does on vacation…go shopping!" And with that they went off in search of a place to stay for the evening, have dinner and start their shopping excursion.

They were able to find rooms in the heart of the main square where there were many eating establishments and shopping centers. After they had finished their shopping excursion and had dinner, they decided to walk around the main square to plan their activities for tomorrow.

"There are so many fun things to do here. What would you like to do Seven? I picked the beach today, it's your turn to pick."

"I am new to recreational activities. I believe I do not have sufficient knowledge to choose wisely," Seven replied nervously.

"Doesn't anything seem interesting to you? I know something has piqued your curiosity during all your research about the planet." B'Elanna didn't want to lead Seven in deciding on an activity even though she had several things she wanted to do. She was secretly hoping that she would pick the holomemory experience so she could say that she was doing it because Seven wanted to. 'B'Elanna, you are such a targ shit.'

Seven looked anxiously at the various business fronts and marquee signs trying to find an idea of what they could do. She knew from past conversations that visiting the various centers of technological research would not be considered fun although informational. She thought that she could do something that would satisfy both B'Elanna and her idea of fun. "Ensign Kim and Ensign Paris were interested in procuring the technology of the holo-memory experience to incorporate into our existing Holodeck programming, maybe we should experience it for ourselves to see if incorporating the technology is advisable. You would also be able to re-experience your childhood memories."

B'Elanna stared at Seven with a shocked expression on her face. She wondered if another one of her Borg talents was reading minds. Did she decide on that activity because she was truly curious about the technology or did she want to make her happy? "Seven do you really want to do that? You don't have to do it because I said I wanted to do it."

"I have analyzed that this activity has elements that meets the requirements for both us to engage in fun." Seven hoped that this would satisfy the doubt that she sensed from B'Elanna's previous statement.

B'Elanna was tempted to argue her interpretation of fun but thought better of it especially since they were getting along so well and didn't want to go back to how they were before. She was more grateful that she decided to do what she wanted but had become scared to follow through with doing it. In trying to alleviate the tension at least that she was feeling she added, "Maybe we could visit the Scientific Center to gain more information about the technology after we are done."

"That would be acceptable."

As they walked along the square back to their rooms, B'Elanna once again became lost in her thoughts. 'Do I really have the strength to go through with this? I don't want Seven to think that I'm a coward and have no honor. I just want to feel that my family truly loved me. I hope my memories have not disrupted what truly was. '

"B'Elanna. B'Elanna! We have arrived at our rooms." Seven stated with a raised voice in an attempt to get the distracted Klingon's attention.

B'Elanna found herself for the second time today so distracted in her thoughts that she was unaware of what was going on around her. She berated herself and was very thankful she was not leading an away mission. "Sorry Seven, I must have been thinking about tomorrow. Well I guess we should get some rest and get an early start in the morning."

She didn't sense the anxiety coming from Seven until they had reached their respective doors. The ex-Borg seemed hesitant to enter her room.

"What is it Seven?" B'Elanna own anxiety beginning to rise.

"I have only engaged in sleeping on a few occasions and was successful for only 4 hours in each attempt. When I was unable to continue sleeping I would regenerate for the remaining time or engage in a task for Astrometics or Engineering. I am unsure what to do now that we are away from the ship." Seven almost looked uncomfortable having to admit this weakness to B'Elanna. She knew that this was important to her and didn't want to disappoint her.

"Oh Seven. I didn't even think about that. You should have said something." B'Elanna was racking her brain to come up with a solution. "Hey you can stay in my room until you get tired. Maybe you can watch a vid or read that always gets me tired. We can also talk but I don't know how long I will last before I fall asleep on you." She hoped these suggestions would be acceptable for Seven.

Staying the night in the half-Klingon's room seemed like something she would have never expected her to offer even though she had hoped she would. She was also grateful to not have to spend the night by herself. She still struggled with spending long periods of time by herself even though it had been several years since she had been severed from the Collective and she had began to embrace her individuality. She found herself experiencing a curious form of positive feelings to continue to be in the company of her new friend. She found herself wanting to be in close proximity of B'Elanna.

"I will accept your offer, B'Elanna. I will use the opportunity to read more about the technology we will be experiencing tomorrow so as not to disrupt your regeneration period."

B'Elanna smiled and invited Seven in her room for what guaranteed to be an interesting and awkward evening.

**Chapter Six**

Seven was wide awake as the morning suns crept into the window of the room. She had been able to sleep for a few hours and woke abruptly not sure as to where she was. She quickly remembered that she was on the planet and in the room of her friend. She sat watching B'Elanna sleep and marveled in the gentle features on the Klingon's face. She admired the soft red lips and the gentle ridges of her forehead. As she stared at the sleeping woman, she began to experience feelings generating in her core. She was uncertain of what these feelings were but was certain that B'Elanna was the cause of them. Becoming uncomfortable after several hours of watching her not wanting her to wake seeing her staring at her, she decided to go and find morning nutritional supplements for her companion.

As Seven quietly exited the room, B'Elanna opened her eyes. She had been aware of Seven staring at her for the last half hour but didn't want to let on that she was awake. She had awoken several hours earlier while Seven had actually fallen asleep. She looked so peaceful while she slept and wondered why she didn't try more often. She had slept on the sofa in the room. B'Elanna had secretly wished that she had chosen to sleep in the bed with her. She thought how wonderful it would be to wake up next to that peaceful and beautiful creature. She realized that her feeling for Seven were deepening past that of mere friendship but she didn't want to do anything to damage what they had fought hard to establish. She wondered what the day would bring for them both.

Seven entered the room caring a glass of what appeared to be prune juice. B'Elanna sat up in bed and smiled at her friend. "I wondered where you had gotten to."

"I thought you would appreciate a beverage to start your day. There are several eating establishments that offer morning nutrition."

B'Elanna chuckled as she corrected Seven. "It's called breakfast. Did any place look good?"

"There were several that offered a variety of items."

"That sounds good to me. I better get up and get ready to start the day. Are you gonna change into your new clothes?"

Seven had not thought about the new clothes they had purchased. "I will go change in my room and meet you back here."

"Umm… Seven, how about you bring your things over here. We should probably get rid of your room since you are staying in here with me." B'Elanna hoped that she would see the logic of this idea.

"I do not want to intrude on you hospitality. I should be able to handle the solitude sufficiently on my own."

"I know you can handle it but why should you. After all we are on shore leave and having fun. I enjoyed having you in here last night. It's been awhile that I have had someone to watch holovids with since Tom."

Seven thought about this for several long moments. "I will accept your offer. I will retrieve my belongings."

She exited to retrieve her things and B'Elanna hopped out of bed to head to the sonic shower. While in the shower, she froze and thought about what she had done. 'Is this really a good idea? Can I control my increasing feelings for her and not ruin our friendship? Yeah it makes sense to share the room especially since Seven being by herself is still something she is adjusting to. That's probably why she doesn't mind having her alcove in the cargo bay where everyone can easily come and go even though most now have come to respect her privacy. Well at least it will be easier to have conversations after the holo-memory experience.' B'Elanna was thinking of every rationalization to calm her frazzled nerves. Then she thought she should hurry and change before seven returned. 'If Seven was concerned she would bring it up. Right?'

As Seven walked to the other room, she wondered about the motivation behind B'Elanna suggestion and request. It was logical to share one room since Seven's need for sleep was very limited. She also wondered if B'Elanna did not wish to be alone as well. Seven thought it best not to dwell upon the reason but to proceed until new information presented itself.

Both women hastily exited the room they now shared with the goal of finding someplace to get breakfast. Neither wanted to speak further about the situation.

They found a bistro that was bustling with activity. They were disappointed that there was a long wait for a table.

"B'Elanna! Seven! Over here."

Their attention was drawn to a large table occupied by Tom, Harry, Chokatay and the Captain as they were waved over to join them.

"Please join us. We just sat down ourselves." The Captain enthusiastically offered.

"Thanks Captain. We weren't looking forward to waiting or finding another place to eat," B'Elanna replied.

Both women sat in the vacant seats and exchanged pleasantries with the rest of the occupants of the table.

"So Seven how are you enjoying your shore leave? Hope B'Elanna doesn't have you doing any wild stuff," Harry asked with a wide grin.

"I am having an satisfactory experience. The lieutenant is a more than adequate guide. What 'wild stuff' are you concerned that she would show me?" Seven was unsure what the Ensign was referring to.

"Oh nothing, just didn't want her having you cliff diving on your first shore leave. What are you two up to today?" Harry hoped that Seven and B'Elanna wouldn't think that he was implying something improper.

"Well I was leaving it up to Seven to decide today. She wanted to…" B'Elanna wasn't shocked that she was interrupted by Seven but more so because she blurted out what they were going to do.

"We are going to the holo-memory experience today." Seven responded.

This brought about a lively discussion at the table. Apparently Tom, Harry and Chokatay had given the Captain minor details about the experience and with her being a scientist the technology of it was too much not to discuss in full. Seven was eagerly engaging in the conversation with the others and the ability to add the technology to our holo matrix programming. She discussed the journals she had read and the theory behind the technology. The Captain was intrigued by it and decided she would have to experience it before she gave the go ahead. B'Elanna smiled as the others talked trying her best to hide her apprehension. The Captain noticed that B'Elanna was sparsely adding to discussion.

"B'Elanna do you have some concern about the safety of this technology and its compatibility with our ship's systems?" The Captain asked with a serious air of concern in her tone. She also wondered if this had more to do with the personal issues she has been going through lately.

"Oh, no Captain. I think that others have researched it fully. That's why Seven and I were planning to experience it today to gain more information. I'm just hungry and wondering where our waiter has gotten to." B'Elanna stated with a fake chuckle hoping that no one else would notice her uneasiness about participating in the experience.

As if a psychic link was sent out, the waiter appeared and took their order. Once the food was served, the conversation was peppered in between bites of food regarding the planet, the activities and the mood of the crew.

Once everyone had finished their meals, the group migrated to the outside of the restaurant and the conversations continued. Seven was observing the group with curiosity. She was committing to memory the social interaction of the group in hopes of utilizing what she observed in her future interactions. She felt that if she could be more comfortable in large groups B'Elanna would begin to feel more relaxed. Seven was concerned about the half-Klingon increased anxiety ever since they arrived on the planet and wanted to do everything in her power to make sure she was not the cause.

As the group started to disperse, the Captain approached Seven and B'Elanna with a look of concern in her eyes. "Ladies, May I have a quick word with you." Not waiting for them to respond she continued on. "I hope you two are enjoying your time on the planet. You both certainly deserve the break. I want you to take an extra day if you would like. Please try and have a good time." She squeezed them both on their arms and quickly joined Chokatay and the others.

B'Elanna and Seven stared at each other in silent confusion as to why the Captain felt the need to give them both such an odd message.

"B'Elanna, do you understand the meaning of the Captain's statement? Do we not appear to be enjoying our time on the planet?" Seven said in earnest trying to understand the Captain's words.

B'Elanna looked in the direction of the Captain and shrugged her shoulders and replied, "Not a clue Seven. Not a clue."

Both women walked leisurely toward the direction of the holo center. B'Elanna was in no hurry to get there and Seven trying to be amenable just kept pace with the lieutenant. B'Elanna asked Seven about her opinion of what they had already seen on the planet and how it compares with other planets she had been on. She was bringing up any trivial topic she could think of in order to fill the silence and distract her from her real thoughts. It soon became evident to Seven that B'Elanna was doing everything to distract herself about where they were heading.

"B'Elanna, do you not wish to discuss the activity we are about to engage in? By your speech and increased breathing and respiratory rate you appear apprehensive." Seven stopped walking and stared intently at her companion waiting for a response. Not hearing a response, Seven gently lifted the smaller woman's chin so that she would meet her eyes.

B'Elanna stared into Seven's deep blue eyes. She felt Seven see through to her soul and lift the fear that was threatening to seize both her hearts. As much as she tried, she could not stop the tears that began to fall. She hoped that Seven would not think she was weak because of her inability to contain her emotions.

"B'Elanna are you injured? Are you in distress?" Seven was growing concerned for her friend. She wondered if participating in the Holo-experience was a good idea.

Regaining her composure, "Seven I'm fine. I didn't realize how nervous I was about doing it. But I'm fine now. Let's get going before we change our minds." B'Elanna squeezed Seven's hand and gave her a weak smile. Before Seven could respond, B'Elanna took her hand and began to pull quickly in the direction of the Holo-center. B'Elanna knew she had to get to the center as soon as possible before she chickened out.

Seven was confused about the half Klingon's reactions. "B'Elanna are we in a hurry?"

She didn't want to tell her blond companion that she was at war with herself and didn't want to succumb to her fears about what would happened in the experience. _'Mijo you have nothing to fear.'_B'Elanna stopped and began to look around wildly for the source of the voice. Knowing that Seven was concerned about her, she quickly tried to cover, "Was that someone from the ship calling us? Oh, it must have just been voices from those people on the other side of the square. No I'm excited to get to the center."

Seven was at a lost as to how to respond but felt that she needed to stay close to her friend and monitor her for emotional instabilities. She was concerned if the activity was appropriate at this time but felt that it was important to B'Elanna and wanted to support her.

They continued their trek to the holo-center in nervous silence at least B'Elanna was nervous.

* * *

Please review and let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

**Living in the Past**

**By mapsnika**

**Chapter Seven**

The Holo-center was a simple building not what one would imagine given the buildup about the experience. It was a long rectangular grey structure that only had windows at the entrance. There was a simple sign that detailed what occurred in the building.

_**HOLOCENTER: Where dreams and memories come true. **_

The entry way was decorated with large statues and bright colorful paintings. There was an elaborate desk with two receptionists helping the patrons who were native to the planet. They were humanoid in appearance with pink stripes on their dark tan skin called Quia. Even though the Quia are native to planet Questa, other species came to the planet to find work.

There were many different species waiting in the reception area to take part in the experience. There was a separate area for children and families who wanted to take part in more recreational programs such Flotter. B'Elanna and Seven were directed to the waiting area for adults where they were asked to sign waivers and were given the appropriate paperwork to complete about the experience they wanted to take part in.

B'Elanna and Seven sat in the oversized chairs that were provided as they completed the questionnaire regarding their physiology and the memories they wanted to re-experience. Next they had to go through a physical scan to record their brain images to add to the holo-memory database. They then had to pinpoint the actual memory they wanted to re-experience as they were scanned again to create the program for the actual experience.

Seven found the procedure fascinating and appreciated the efficiency to create such an accurate program. She observed each technician as they performed their task asking questions as they proceeded. She thought the information she acquired would be helpful if Voyager decided to adapt the programming. For B'Elanna, she was struggling to contain her Klingon temper as she was being poked and prodded. She felt like she was in sickbay with the doctor and his infamous bedside manner. She thought to herself, 'It's not as bad as being in sickbay but I just want to get on with the actual experience.' Even though she was interested in the technology her nerves were taking precedence over her curiosity. The whole process took about 45 minutes to complete.

Once they were done with the setup they were escorted to a small private waiting room. They were provided material to read about other activities on the planet, such as historical and recreational attractions while they waited. B'Elanna picked up one of the portable vid screen and scanned it without actually reading. She kept looking toward the door waiting for their turn. Seven looked at B'Elanna with curiosity wondering why she was not talking about what was to happen.

"B'Elanna, are you nervous about taking part in the experience?"

"Huh? Oh no I'm fine. What did you say?" B'Elanna stammered all at once not really hearing what Seven said.

"I was inquiring if you were nervous."

With a loud sigh she placed the portable vid screen back on the table, "Yeah I guess I am. Are you nervous?"

"No, I am not experiencing any apprehension just curiosity as to what the experience will be like. We have not discussed if you wish for me to partake in your experience or would you rather have privacy."

B'Elanna had not really decided what she wanted to do. She did at one time want Seven there with her for moral support but did she want her to witness what could possibly be turn into her worst day of her life… again. She had chosen three separate events to experience; the time she was allowed to go visit her grandmother for the first time, the last camping trip with her father and the day her father left. It was decided that she would relive the memories over a period of two days. 'Maybe it would be better to have someone there. I wonder if I picked the wrong things to experience. Why did I pick those memories? Maybe I should do them all today. Maybe I shouldn't do this at all. Kah'less, Seven will think I'm such a coward if I back out now.'

Seven had decided not to proceed with her own holo-experience but instead would be there for support for B'Elanna. They had become friends and she knew it was a friend's responsibility to support their friend. That is what she had learned in her time as a member of the Voyager collective. During their time together, B'Elanna was becoming the most important member of her collective even more then the Captain.

The attendant came in and profusely apologized for the delay explaining that they didn't expect for the maintenance of the holo-emitters to take so long. She assured them that they should be able to begin their experience soon.

B'Elanna was so lost in the world wind of her thoughts that she did not hear Seven call her name or notice that the attendant had entered the room to inform them that the room would take a few minutes more to prepare.

The maintenance crew had been working through the night. The supervisor of the crew was frustrated because not only did he have to get the holo-suites up and running before the doors opened but he had to train 3 new additions to his crew. He was getting rushed by the manager because they were behind schedule and there were customers waiting. He rushed his follow-up checks of the work of his crew so he could tell the manager that everything was ready to go and he could go home for some much needed rest.

The attendant came in the room and informed them that their holo-suites were ready. Seven looked at B'Elanna who sat frozen in her seat blindly staring at the door. Seven's concern for her friend grew.

"B'Elanna, are you alright?" Seven inquired with a worried lift of her ocular implant.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Seven…um…could you…I mean…um…would you join me in my holo-experience?" B'Elanna didn't move her eyesight from the door as she asked the question in a small, weak voice.

Seven stared at B'Elanna for a long moment before responding in a compassionate voice, "B'Elanna I would be honored to join you in your holo-experience."

Seven informed the attendant that she would need to postpone her holo-experience as she would be joining her companion in hers. The woman nodded and punched several buttons on the device she wore on her wrist.

The attendant led the two women to the door of the holo-suite. As they walked toward the suite Seven was surprised when B'Elanna grabbed her hand in what appeared to be fright and anxiety. Seven turned to her friend and gave her a soft smile in hopes that it would reassure the half Klingon. B'Elanna returned the gesture with a weak smile of her own.

As they reached the door the attendant listed off a set of instructions that B'Elanna didn't hear but fortunately Seven was able to listen to the instructions even though she was growing increasingly concerned about B'Elanna. Having done her job, the attendant quickly left the women alone and dashed off to get the other patrons situated with their experiences.

"Are you sure you want to continue with this activity? Your anxiety level appears to be increasing."

"Just give me a minute. I can do this," said more for her benefit then Seven's.

As they stood there, B'Elanna began to gain control over her nerves and found the strength to go through the door even though she had not released Seven's hand.

The doors opened on a quaint little garden with a plain white cottage trimmed in ocean blue. In the garden there was corn, squash and various other vegetation ready to be harvested. Off to the left of the garden was a beautiful array of flowers in bloom displaying the various colors of the rainbow. In the center of the garden was a worn rocking chair facing away from them. In the chair sat a grey haired woman humming a soft melodic tune as she snapped peas into a large wooden bowl.

As Seven looked upon this scene her mind took her back to a memory of sitting in her aunt Irene's kitchen as she prepared her favorite strawberry confection. She felt the pressure in her hand increase and was brought back to the present realizing that B'Elanna still had grasp of her hand.

B'Elanna didn't realize that she was now squeezing Seven's hand until seven brought her other hand up to cover B'Elanna's hand with both of hers. She looked at Seven with tears threatening to fall and a plead for courage to approach the woman seated in the old rocker. Her wish was granted by the simple reply of her companion as her hand was released, "Proceed B'Elanna."

B'Elanna took several small tentative steps forward as she approached the small woman. The older woman slowly turned to face the approaching shadow. When she realized who it was she quickly put the bowl on the ground and got up quicker than you would expect a woman of her age capable of doing.

"_Mija_!" exclaimed the woman. With that simple term of endearment B'Elanna was transported back to being a little girl as she enveloped herself in her grandmother's embrace.

"Where is your papa? Did you come by yourself?"

"Grandmother! I missed you so much," B'Elanna said through her tears as she hugged her grandmother tighter.

The old woman pulled herself away from the girl to get a better look at her. "Mija, have the children been teasing you again?" She gave her a loving smile and pulled her to her chest. "Remember you are as strong as that tree that grows in my yard." She then kissed her granddaughter on the top of her head. B'Elanna could not restrain the flood of tears any longer and began to sob uncontrollably. Her grandmother wrapped her tighter in her arms and began to rock her and hum a soothing tune until her tears began to subside.

Seven stood at the edge of the garden watching the entire scene play out. Her understanding of the concept of love had once been seen as an irrelevant display of emotions but after witnessing the exchange between B'Elanna and her grandmother, she saw that there was much more to it then she had originally thought. She wondered if she had felt the same level of emotion for her own parents before being taken by the Borg. She now realized she could not recall the same intensity of emotion or attachment for her parents and knew she was missing something significant. She also wondered if she could feel this level of emotion with another…possibly B'Elanna.

Seven was brought out of her reverie hearing the kindly old woman bring notice to her presence.

"Lanna, who is your friend?"

Releasing herself from her grandmother's embrace, she walked over to Seven taking her hand and leading her over to her grandmother. "Nana, this is my friend Seven."

Seven reached out her hand to greet the woman as she had seen others do when first greeting others. "It is nice to meet you. B'Elanna has told…"

Before she could finish her speaking, Seven found herself enveloped in the strong embrace of the kind woman.

"I'm so happy my Lanna has such nice friends." The old women gave B'Elanna a little wink and a smile telling her silently that she knew she get make friends. "Come, come inside and I will get you both something cool to drink and I should have some sweet cakes to eat."

Before Seven could think to protest, she was being led inside the little cottage with B'Elanna following closely behind with a smile as big and as bright as a sun about ready to go super nova.

Seven realized that B'Elanna's grandmother did not perceive her as grown woman but as the little girl who was coming to visit her grandmother and her grandmother saw Seven as one of her friends. Because Seven was not a part of the original memory, the computer must have altered the programming to include her in the scenario.

"Lanna, your papa let you come to my house by yourself?" she questioned her as she settled the two girls at the table in her kitchen. While waiting for an answer, she went about getting them both something to drink and the sweet cakes she had promised them.

Out of all the situations she had been in where quick thinking was the thing that prevented life or death, B'Elanna was at a loss for words not having yet caught on that her grandmother saw her as a little girl. Realizing this, Seven spoke up to rescue her friend. "John said if I accompanied B'Elanna she could come visit with you."

B'Elanna looked at her friend and smiled, recognition of the situation quickly making its way into her mind.

"I'm glad you are becoming such a big girl." She came over and gave her granddaughter a gentle pat on the cheek. "Seven, are you and Lanna friends from school?"

This time Seven was caught off guard. Returning the favor, B'Elanna answered for her. "Seven is a new student at my school. Her family just moved to the planet. She didn't have any friends, so we started to play together."

"See Lanna, I knew you could make friends. Seven you are welcomed to come here anytime with Lanna."

Even though Seven knew this was a holographic projection, the emotional connection with this woman was undeniable. She was feeling a similar reaction as she felt toward Captain Janeway. It was made that more special because it was a member of B'Elanna's family who made the gesture. Seven had to swallow the lump that formed in her throat before she could respond with a simple, "Thank you."

The two women sat at the table with the old woman sharing stories and funny tales. B'Elanna and her grandmother talked about their last visit and the fun the she had staying at the cottage with her father. Seven sat and observed the exchange between the two women and felt a pang of lost for never having shared a similar experience.

As the attendant informed Seven prior to entering the Holosuite, a chime would sound when they had 15 minutes left in their simulation. It was disguised to sound like a bird to not interfere with the ambience of the environment but different enough so it could be distinguished as the alert timer.

"B'Elanna we need to leave soon. Your father will be expecting us." Seven stated.

"But we just got here!" B'Elanna protested. She looked at the elder Torres with sad eyes hating for this time to end.

"Lanna you be a good girl now. You want your father to allow you to come back by yourself don't you?" her grandmother chastised. "I will give you sweet cakes to take with you so that you and Seven can eat them on the way home. Okay Mija?"

"Okay Nana," she said sadly. "Can I come back and visit you again? And you will teach me to make banana pancakes?" B'Elanna felt herself back in that moment right before her father came to retrieve her from transporter station after being allowed to walk to the transporter station without her father escorting her. Her father had agreed to meet her at the transporter station and not come get her from her grandmother's house because she wanted to prove that she was a big girl and could do it on her own.

"Of course Mija! Both you and your friend can come back anytime. Now run along so your papa won't worry about you." She hugged B'Elanna and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Seven you come back and visit too," she stated cheerily as she also gave Seven a hug.

B'Elanna backed out of the yard waving at her holographic grandmother with tears misting her eyes clutching the package of sweet cakes. Caught up in the moment Seven also found herself waving goodbye to the elderly woman. As they exited the holosuite doors B'Elanna found herself overcome with emotion but she didn't want to break down in a public place as the Holocenter.

"Seven can we go to our room before we do anything else?" B'Elanna said softly. .

"That would be acceptable." Once they exited the center Seven grew worried about B'Elanna's quiet demeanor as the two of them began the trek back to their rented rooms. "Are you feeling alright, B'Elanna?" Seven sounded concerned as she looked at her friend.

"I didn't realize how difficult it was going to be to see her and then leave her again. "

"Was the experience what you desired? Did it provide the satisfactory results for you?"

"It was wonderful to feel her love again. I'm glad I did it," B'Elanna expressed with a smile. She continued to walk in silence. Seven appeared satisfied with her response and walked in silence with her to the room they agreed to share.

**Chapter Eight**

Coming out of the bathroom after freshening up, B'Elanna felt like she had control over her emotions. She changed into another one of the new outfits that she had bought the day before. She had talked Seven into wearing her new clothes. Finally Seven decided to wear the floral patterned sundress she had agreed to get after looking at least half dozen different outfits. The colors in the dress highlighted her blonde hair and blue eyes. B'Elanna found herself staring at the tall woman even though she was trying unsuccessfully not to show that she was staring.

Seven secretly relished in the attention she was getting from the half Klingon. She was told many times how attractive she looked in her new dress and was glad that she acquired it.

The two women sat on the couch in the main living area that faced the window in the direction of the main square and watched the people going from shop to shop. Both women sat in companionable silence. Reflecting on the experience from earlier in the day, B'Elanna had a very content smile on her face. There were several times that she instinctively touched the cheek that her grandmother kissed right before leaving the garden.

"Is there a problem with your cheek B'Elanna? You keep touching it." Seven broke the quiet with her question. B'Elanna had not noticed that Seven had been watching her for the last few minutes.

"Oh… no. I was just thinking about the experience with my grandmother. It was better than I had every imagined it to be," B'Elanna stated almost gleefully. "What did you think of my Nana? Wasn't she great?"

Seven wasn't sure how to answer. She did find that she enjoyed the woman's company and her nurturing quality but she realized what she enjoyed more was how it made B'Elanna feel. She was more at ease with her and more open with her emotions. Again thoughts of her Aunt Irene came to her mind and how kind she was to her as a child especially when her parents were away researching the Borg. She wondered if she would have the same positive experience as B'Elanna if she chose re-experience those times before she became Borg.

"I found your Grandmother to be quite pleasant. Was the memory we experienced true to the actual memory?" Seven wondered.

B'Elanna thought for a moment trying to reflect back to the actual experience of going to her grandmother's house. "It was as close to how I remembered it happening, except I didn't have an a friend with me." She chuckled at what her Grandmother would have said if she was with her as a child. "I remember the sweet cakes that she made for me. Too bad the replicator didn't have her recipe, you would have loved them, Seven. They were so rich and buttery that they would almost melt in your mouth." The thought of the taste of her Grandmother's confections caused B'Elanna to lip her lips.

Seven found herself staring at the dark woman's deep red lips as her tongue gently swept over them and she almost mimicked the gesture as well. She was brought out of her gaze by the light touch on her forearm.

"Seven are you going to have your own memory experience of the time before you were taken by the Borg. You know when …" Her words dropped off not wanting to say the wrong thing.

"When what?" Seven inquired with the lift of her ocular implant.

"Mmm…when you were a kid and happy? Hey but you don't have do it if you don't want to just 'cuz I did it. I will still go with you to do the research. I don't want pressure you or anything. I mean…"

She was interrupted by a returned touch on her hand and the gentle smile expressed by her companion. "B'Elanna, it is fine. I do not feel any pressure by you to participate in the experience. I will give it some thought and give you my answer before it is time to leave the planet. I am glad that I can be here for you while you go through the experience."

B'Elanna lowered her head and displayed a meek smile. She felt the warmth of her words spread through her body. The fact that she was glad to be there with her made her feel like she was back in her Nana's garden. She lifted her head and brown eyes met blue eyes.

After a long moment Seven asked, "Do you plan to go through with the memory of your father and the day he left?" Her eyes showed compassion for her friend.

B'Elanna lowered her head again but this time there was sadness displayed on her face. After the wonderful time she had today, she was uncertain if she wanted to relive that day again that her father left her. To go through the anger and grief that she experienced she didn't know if she had the courage to endure it once again. With that thought, she became angry and cursed herself for her lack of honor. She rapidly stood and went to the replicator and ordered an alcoholic drink.

Seven watched her actions and was confused by what she saw. What had she said to distress her friend? She was only inquiring about one of the events that she stated she wanted to experience again.

She stood and crossed the room to stand behind the shorter woman. She gently placed her hand on B'Elanna's shoulder and quietly asked, "Have I said something that has hurt you?"

B'Elanna turned slowly and looked at Seven, trying to hide her anger from her. In truth, she was using her anger to hide her fear and hurt. She knew the ex-drone would understand her anger but was not sure if she was ready to explain her fear and hurt to Seven.

"Seven, I don't know if I want to see him again!" Her words came out more forcefully then she intended. She lowered her head and sighed deeply. "I'm sorry. I know I said I wanted to know the truth." She took a long drink from her glass before continuing. "I shouldn't run from the truth…what has already happened. Maybe if I do this, I can finally tell him how I feel. What his leaving…." She drained the remainder of the contents of her glass and then went back to the replicator and ordered another drink. B'Elanna drained that drink as well and put the glass in the recycler.

The blonde asked tentatively not wanting to upset her any further, "So you have decided to participate in…"

Seven was interrupted by B'Elanna quickly moving toward the window and shouting waving her arms, "Let's do something fun. Let's go dancing! What you say?"

"I do not understand. I do not…I do not want to hurt you. My last experience with dancing was not successful," Seven was unsure if she told her the truth she would change her mind about wanting to go dancing with her.

B'Elanna walked to Seven and placed her hands on her arms. "Aw come on. I'll show you. It will be fun. Please?"

Seven was very confused by the sudden change in her friend's mood. She was unsure if this was another attempt to hide from what was really bothering her or the effects of the two alcoholic beverages she had just consumed. She was accustomed to her rapid mood changes but usually they had been directed at her. This, she was unsure how to handle so she chose to go with the course of the conversation hoping to figure out the truth in doing so.

"Where would we perform such an activity?"

B'Elanna was getting excited that Seven was curious about going dancing. She hoped the diversion would get both their minds off the prospect of the other holo experience with her father. "There were brightly colored signs in the main square that talked about different clubs that has dancing. We could get some dinner then go dancing." She turned and then faced the confused woman again and said with a mischievous grin, "But first we have to get some clothes to go out on the town."

"But we have already purchased clothing. Are these clothes not satisfactory?"

The dark woman laughed. "We're on vacation and having the right clothes for every activity is very important. For dancing you will need a something very specific." She was becoming excited about the prospect of seeing Seven in an outfit that would show off the curves of her body. She thought, 'Is this going to be like a date? Oh Kahless what am I doing? Oh well we are on vacation, right?'

"Will you assist me in choosing the appropriate attire for dancing?" Seven felt herself being swept up in B'Elanna's enthusiasm. She felt it best to not revisit the topic of the holo experience for the time being.

"Of course I'll help you. I think I know the right color that will look good on you." B'Elanna took Seven's hand and headed for the door with the blonde in tow. She turned to look at her before they left their room with a level of intensity in her eyes, "I promise you'll have a good time."

The two women strolled through the dress shops looking for the perfect dancing attire.

Seven was starting to react to B'Elanna enthusiasm about shopping and going dancing later this being an experience that secretly intrigued her. She had seen others dance at some of the parties thrown by Neelix but she had always declined when asked to dance by members of the crew. She would always say that it was a frivolous activity and could never understand the point. Secretly she was intrigued how the activity was used in the mating process. She would spend her time at these staff functions watching B'Elanna and Tom as they would dance together. After they had danced and often kissed, they would leave for what she assumed was recreational copulation.

"Seven, I think this red dress would look beautiful on you. What do you think?" B'Elanna was holding the dress next to her. "It really highlights your eyes," B'Elanna said softly as she felt her desire to see her in the dress increase.

Seven didn't care about the dress, but did care that B'Elanna thought it would look beautiful on her. "I believe the dress will meet the requirement for dancing." B'Elanna chuckled at her response. "B'Elanna what are you going to wear?"

"I saw a pair of black leather pants and a red blouse." She hoped that Seven would notice that that she had chose the blouse to match her dress she picked for her. "So… we should go pay for the clothes and go back to the room to change before we go to dinner.

After paying for their clothes and accessories, they began their trek back to their room. Seven shocked the half Klingon by asking, "B'Elanna are the activities we will be engaging in tonight like those of a date?"

B'Elanna nearly tripped over her own feet. "Well…I…um… guess you can say that the activities are the same," B'Elanna stammered out.

"Are we going on a date?" the blonde asked shyly.

This time not only did she trip again but began choking on air trying to form a response. Seven looked at the woman with curiosity and confusion. B'Elanna wanted to try to play it off as two friends going dancing but she knew that she would not be able to contain her jealously if another person asked Seven to dance. She didn't think that their relationship had progressed that far that she could…would consider dating the woman or did she. The idea of taking the tall blonde out on a date wasn't a far fetched idea. Remembering how she looked in her swim suit and the looks that she received made her that much more enticed to see the reactions she would get in that stunning red dress and the looks of jealously from those that realized that the gorgeous woman was with her.

"Well…umm…it's not really…do you think it's a date?" she finally was able to splutter out.

"I have only gone on one date before. It was arranged by the doctor. It was not very satisfactory. I injured Crewman Chapman as we attempted to dance. I feel I am not very skilled at this activity." Seven looked down at her hands feeling somewhat inadequate because she was not proficient at the activity. Then another thought entered her mind about the date. "Is a date not an activity that is shared by people who care for each other in an intimate way?" Seven asked with quiet curiosity.

"Well, yes I guess that's true."

"Do you care for me B'Elanna?" Seven asked as they walked side by side.

B'Elanna found that the pattern in the walkway very interesting and was glad that they were walking side by side. "Yeah, I wouldn't have wanted to spend my shore leave with you if I didn't," B'Elanna replied trying to be flippant to hide her growing discomfort.

"I too care about you as well and am happy that you offered to share your shore leave with me." B'Elanna was got catching flies as she stood with her mouth gaping open as her hearts fluttered from expression of companionship. "I think I would like to go on a date with you B'Elanna Torres," Seven stated matter of factly.

This time the half-Klingon just stopped walking as Seven kept walking toward the room. After a few steps she noticed that she was alone and then turned to face her friend. She walked back and stood in front of her. "Have I said something wrong? Do you not wish to go on a date with me?" Seven became unsure about her previous declaration to B'Elanna.

"No. I mean yes. You just surprised me that's all. I would like to go on a date with you." B'Elanna felt heat starting to rise from her neck to her ridged forehead. "Seven, we don't have to go dancing. We could just have dinner and talk. No pressure or anything." B'Elanna was trying to give the woman an escape but in truth she was trying to give herself an escape.

Seven looked at her with that typical raised eyebrow. "I would like to go dancing with you if you are still willing to teach me to dance. I have after all bought a dress for that particular activity, have I not?" Seven gave the shorter woman a wry smile. B'Elanna returned the smile like a child receiving their first pet Targ.

The two women finally made it back to the room without any more mishaps. Changing into their evening attire should have been an easy task if it was not for the distractions occurring in the bathroom and the bedroom.

Seven was changing into her dress in the bedroom but found herself thinking about the chief engineer changing in the bathroom and wondering if this date was going to have a more positive result then her last experience. She hoped it would since her feelings for the half Klingon were growing into an intimate personal nature. She found that she truly cared about the woman and wanted to spend all of her time with her, next just while on duty but during moments like they had shared these past few weeks. She was beginning to feel what could be described as excitement about their impending date even though she was unsure about the other myriad of emotions she was experiencing about the person in the next room.

B'Elanna was feeling apprehensive about her imminent date with Seven as she fidgeted with her clothes. 'Kah'less what have I got myself into. Does this mean that I could see myself in a relationship with that woman, to be dating that gorgeous woman? Do I want to date her? Don't be such a petaQ Torres, who wouldn't want to date her? But did I push her into this because I didn't want to talk or think about the holo-experience with my father? Of course there is no pressure to show her a better time then the last date she had, he was like dating a school boy.' The dark woman looked into the mirror for what felt like the tenth time as she adjusted her clothes. "She is a very sexy woman and I can't wait to see her in that red dress. Don't be such a horndog like Paris," she said to herself looking at her image reflected in the mirror.

Knowing that Seven would be dressed by now, she knew she couldn't continue to hide in the bathroom any longer. She slowly opened the door not wanting to surprise the blonde if she wasn't finished dressing. She cleared her throat to announce her presence. "Seven are you ready to go to dinner yet?"

As B'Elanna rounded the corner to the bedroom she was struck with the most beautiful vision she had ever seen. Seven stood before her in her new red dress that draped slightly off her shoulders with spaghetti straps that lightly hugged her arms. Seven ran her human hand over her implants in a futile attempt to try to hide them. B'Elanna noticing her actions walked over to the young woman and took her Borg enhanced hand and held up her arm outstretched to get a better look at the woman. The v-cut went far enough down her chest to accentuate the abundant mounds that were underneath but still left much to the imagination. The half Klingon found her gaze drawn to the hem of the dress which lay just below her curvaceous thighs and then down to her long legs to the black pumps on her feet. Having caught herself oogling at the tall blonde's body she forced her eyes back up to the beautiful face of the vision that stood before her and smiled. Seven wore her hair down which gently caressed her shoulders and framed her face so it looked like a masterpiece portrait. It was a stark contrast to the intense bun she usually wore. With the lighter hairstyle, her true youth and beauty shone with unbridled brightness.

The shorter woman sucked in a deep gulp of air in order to steady her nerves and start her brain working again. "Seven you look…you are beautiful," she stated almost as a whisper. "Your implants are just a part of you. I see that now. They are…you are beautiful," B'Elanna felt truly compelled by her beauty to repeat her declaration.

Feeling somewhat self conscious in the short dress, the blonde was relieved that B'Elanna found her aesthetically pleasing. "Thank you B'Elanna. You look beautiful as well." Seven did find her beautiful as well but not until this moment did she truly appreciate how her Klingon features emphasized the dark woman's attractive appearance.

"Well…er… we should go. I mean are you ready to go?" the shorter woman stammered as she walked toward the door.

"Yes, I believe I am ready," seven replied softly. B'Elanna's reaction toward her physical appearance gave her the confidence to go out in public without much thought regarding her Borg implants.

As the two women walked out of the building to begin their date, B'Elanna quietly took Seven's hand as they made their way to the restaurant.

At the restaurant, the two women found that the conversation was very comfortable due to the many meals they shared together before coming down to the planet. They discussed ship's activities, individual projects that they wished to start once back onboard the ship and even projects they would like to conduct together.

Seven was hesitant to bring up the topic of tomorrow's holo-experience especially because they were having an enjoyable time at present. She thought bringing up the subject of their date would be sufficient dinner conversation.

"B'Elanna, may I ask you a question?"

"You just did," B'Elanna responded teasingly. "I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. Go ahead."

"Why have you agreed to go on a date with me? What are your intentions for our date?"

B'Elanna was caught off guard by her questions. She was grateful that she was not eating or drinking at the time. "I only want to have a good time with you. Show you how to dance. Nothing else, really." She began to feel tiny beads of sweat starting to form on her brow.

"But why did you agree to go on a date with me? Do you have feelings of an intimate nature for me? Is that not the reason individuals engage in a dating ritual?" Her voice was soft and did not have the superior tone that the half Klingon expected her to have.

"Wow when you ask questions you don't play around do you?" She raked her hand through her dark hair as she tried to find the right words to answer her question. She wondered if she could answer this question without getting into the question earlier that prompted the whole date thing to begin with. But if she was to be truly honest with herself, a date with Seven was not the worst thing she could think of. In fact the prospect of dating Seven was something that she had been entertaining in that part of her mind that she kept secret from others.

Seven looked curiously at the dark woman wondering if she had miscalculated the true nature of their relationship.

The half-Klingon stared deeply into those pools of azure eyes. "You are very beuti…I mean… I have enjoyed your company these past few weeks," B'Elanna stumbled over her words hoping that she had not caught her slip. "I have appreciated all that you have done in helping me go through with the holo-experience with my grandmother. I wanted to show you my appreciation as well as blow off some steam having fun with you." She gave the blond a sheepish grin.

"I have welcomed your company these past few weeks. I am glad that our relationship has evolved but you have not answered my question concerning your feelings toward me." Seven diverted her gaze from the other woman for a mere moment.

"Seven, I…uh…definitely feel something for you." B'Elanna didn't want her next words to come out wrong. She took a deep breath before continuing. "I don't want the experiences of our time on the planet to influence our decisions about each other." She noticed the frown on Seven's face and quickly tried to explain. "I don't mean that there is anything wrong about us but I have ruined too many relationships, so if there is anything between us I don't want to blow it. I would like to go slow, continue to get to know each other better. So I guess that is a long winded explanation as to why I wanted to date you." She hoped this explanation was good enough for the woman.

The young blonde thought about what was said to her trying to decipher if she understood the meaning. Thinking thoughtfully she responded, "I possess feelings for you as well. I will comply with taking our time."

B'Elanna seemed relieved by the fact that Seven had feelings for her and that she was willing to take things slow. They sat for several long moments in silence, neither wanting to be the first to speak.

Finally becoming uncomfortable, B'Elanna had to speak, "So are you ready to go dancing?"

"Yes. You will teach me how to perform this activity?"

The half-Klingon smiled brightly, "I am looking forward to it."

The couple found a dancing establishment that appeared to be very popular. The music was thumping and very rhythmic causing those standing in line to move to the beat. There was a large multi-colored marquee advertising the dance club. As they stood in line, B'Elanna was becoming excited having not had the opportunity to dance in quite a while. She could never get Tom to take her dancing while they were dating.

Once they entered the club, they sought out a table away from the dance floor and ordered some drinks. Seven just ordered a drink to look like everyone else and B'Elanna felt she needed the liquid courage so as to not make a fool of herself in front of the woman who was growing to mean the world to her.

The club was brightly lit in multiple colors dancing off the walls and patrons scattered throughout the large room. The music appeared to radiate up from the floor causing the beat to course through ones entire body. All the people swayed and gyrated to the beat moving limbs and various body parts in all sorts of directions.

Seven took in the scene with a great deal of curiosity, turning her head rapidly to take in the various people and activities that were taking place around her. She opened her mouth several times to inquire about various activities that she was witnessing but as soon as she formed the question another event took place. B'Elanna watched the young woman with delight as she took in all of the events around her. She tried her best to hide her laughter not wanting her to think that she was making fun of her.

"Seven, how are you doing? Having a good time?" B'Elanna asked with a chuckle over the noise of the club.

"I am curious about some of the activities of the people here." She paused and looked around before continuing. "That male over there by the bar has approached several females and has made the same promise and proposition to each of them. What is his desired goal?" She lifted her ocular implant trying to figure out the man's behavior.

The Klingon giggled quietly before she answered. "He's trying to get a woman to dance with him."

"Why does he not just state his intention to the woman?"

"That's a good question. I guess he's trying to be charming." B'Elanna smiled remembering the weak attempts by Tom trying to be charming to various women aboard Voyager including herself and Seven and failing miserably.

"That seems an inefficient tactic for his desired outcome," the blonde said with an evident frown. "You did not engage in that method when you wanted me to go dancing with you." Seven just let her statement hang in the air not expecting a reply.

B'Elanna did not know whether to take that as a compliment or a hint. She decided to take it as a hint and ask the woman to dance. She figured it was a safe song to teach her to dance. She picked up her drink and drained it before she stood. Reaching out her hand and bending down close so she could hear her, she awkwardly asked her to dance. "Seven…um…would you like to dance…um…with me?"

Seven looked at the dark hand and then slowly into the owner's face. She took the hand gingerly as she stood still looking into the brown eyes of her companion. "That will be acceptable," she mouthed.

They slowly walked out to the dance floor holding hands. They found an adequate space on the dance floor and turned to face each other. B'Elanna didn't have to see Seven's face to feel her nervousness. "Just relax okay. Do you feel the rhythm? Just let your body move to the rhythm. Just do what I do."

The ex-Borg looked steadily at the shorter woman and at the others dancing beside them. She began to robotically mimic the moves of B'Elanna which caused her to openly smile at the young woman. She took both her hands trying to help her loosen up her movements. They moved together like that until the end of the song. She realized that the Borg was not feeling the music, but that she was just following the movements as she observed in others. When the next song began the beat was much slower than the last song which gave B'Elanna an idea to help her feel the rhythm. She took Seven in her arms and moved them both in unison to the beat.

Speaking softly into her cheek, "Can you feel the beat? Feel it in your chest, in your limbs, all throughout your body. Can you feel it?" She felt the woman begin to relax into her embrace and move more naturally to the tempo of the music. B'Elanna smiled into the woman's neck, "That's it; you feel the music through your body don't you?" She thought she had never felt this close to another person before. It was such an innocent expression of intimacy but she was beginning to feel that she could grow to love this woman.

Seven felt comfortable and safe in B'Elanna's arms. She was unsure if it was due to the change in their relationship or the increasing closeness that had been growing between them. She found herself placing her head on the shorter woman's shoulder as they swayed to the beat of the song as a small smile formed on her lips. She wondered if this was how it felt to be truly human.

They stayed like that into the next few songs lost in their own individual thoughts. When they finally parted, they looked at each other and smiled. "Let's go sit down and get something to drink. Okay?" B'Elanna led Seven back to the table by the hand. Once seated B'Elanna ordered drinks from the waiter, water for Seven and Talaxian ale for herself.

They each slyly stole glances at each other as they sat sipping their drinks and looking at the other dancers. Seven softly placed her glass on the table and captured B'Elanna gaze with her blue eyes. "Is that how it is supposed to feel when one dances?"

The half Klingon opened her mouth to speak but closed her mouth without speaking. She began to feel herself fidget in her chair under the gaze of the young woman across from her. "Yes." She was finally able to reply. Taking a deep breath she asked, "Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes. I enjoyed it very much."

"So did I."

"I …think I enjoyed it because of you, B'Elanna," Seven responded innocently.

The dark woman felt her cheeks flush as heat began to radiate through her body. She picked up her drink and took several deep gulps in an attempt to settle her nervousness. 'Kah'less this woman is beautiful. She felt so good to hold while we danced.'

B'Elanna was brought out of her reverie by the hand that was thrust in her face, "Will you dance with me again?"

The Klingon stood to take the taller woman's hand and followed as she led them back to the dance floor this time. Both women relaxed in each other's embrace as they danced to both slow and fast tunes. B'Elanna convinced the blonde quite easily that many of the songs could be categorized as slow tunes giving them the excuse to dance holding each other longer. They danced with each other for the next several hours before they both grew tired and were ready to return to their room. They walked back to their room in companionable silence. As they walked their hands indivertibly brushed each other as their arms swung and finally they held hands lightly by their finger tips with a gentle smile on each of their faces.

Once in the room the pair changed out of the evening clothes and into their sleepwear. Seven started to head to the couch to read and attempt to try to sleep. After spending the evening so close to the Borg, B'Elanna wanted to continue the close contact with the woman.

"Seven, you don't have to sleep on the couch. The bed is big enough for us both to share, and more comfortable," B'Elanna stated trying to seem matter of fact about the issue.

Seven turned from preparing the couch for bed and looked at the other woman. "I would not want to interfere with your regeneration period," she answered with surprise in her tone that her friend would make such a gesture.

B'Elanna walked over to where Seven was standing and placed her hand on her arm. "You would not bother me. In fact I would enjoy the company and maybe we can talk about tomorrow." She led her toward the bed. Having noticed the look on Seven's face she quickly added, "I just want your company to sleep nothing else. Besides if I fall asleep while we are talking I won't have far to go." She tried a forced chuckle attempting to lighten the mood.

Seven looked at her friend and softly said, "That will be acceptable."

The two women crawled into opposite sides of the bed lying on their backs staring at the ceiling. B'Elanna nervously turned to look at the woman lying next to her with a warring conversation going through her mind. 'Now what? You asked her to share the bed to talk and you lay here like a Vulcan meditating. Say something!' 'Kahless what do I say.' 'Ask her if she enjoyed herself tonight. You could grow some courage and actually talk about what you are scared about; going through with the holo-experience with your father.' 'Shut up! I will talk to her.' She rolled over on her side facing the blonde and was about to speak when Seven broke the silence.

"B'Elanna do you plan to participate tomorrow in the holo-experience about your father leaving?" the Borg asked as she rolled over to face the Klingon.

"Subtle is just not in your vocabulary is it Seven?" as she smiled at her. "I've been thinking about it. I want to remember the truth but in a way I don't want to know." She sighed deeply pulling her hands under her head on the pillow. "I've had the belief that my father left me because of me being Klingon, what if I'm right. I don't know if I could handle that much truth."

"Would it not be better to know the truth then continue through life uncertain?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right." B'Elanna couldn't believe how easy it was to talk to this woman about her past. She couldn't believe she was about the say this to her, "I'm afraid of the truth I guess. If it was my fault he left…"

Seven felt the urge to comfort her friend, so she began to softly stroke her arm with her hand. "B'Elanna you were a child. I do not believe it was your fault. You are the bravest person I know."

"Thank you Seven. If I go through with the experience, you will be there with me won't you?"

"Of course I will. I would be honored to be there with you in whatever capacity you see fit."

Closing her eyes in thought for several moments, she opened them to peer at Seven, "What about you Seven? It's not fair to you that I have been taking up all your time with my memories. I would love to be there for you as you experienced your own memories."

"Thank you for your consideration, but I do not have the same need as you to experience my past. I have gained much knowledge from being with you about my humanity." She moved her hand from her arm to gently touch her cheek. "I have enjoyed getting to know you better. Thank you for taking me on a date and teaching me to dance."

Deeply moved by Seven's words, B'Elanna leaned upward and placed a soft kiss on her forehead and gently stroked her cheek. "I enjoyed our date and teaching you to dance. Maybe we can do it again sometime."

They lay staring at each other in silence until B'Elanna released a yawn. Seven smiled at her attempt to stay awake. "You must sleep now B'Elanna. We can talk more after you have regenerated," she softly whispered to the very tired Klingon.

Seven spent the next two hours staring at the sleeping woman studying her features. She saw how relaxed she was when she slept and how at peace she looked. She secretly wanted that level of peace for herself. Watching B'Elanna sleep, Seven felt herself become drowsy and she slipped into her own peaceful sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Living in the Past**

**By mapsnika**

**Chapter Nine**

B'Elanna was surprised when she woke the next morning to find Seven asleep next to her with her arm and leg draped over Seven. Her first instinct was to quickly extract herself from the sleeping woman but there were several factors that kept her from doing so. For one thing she didn't want to wake her and mostly she was enjoying the predicament she found herself in. So instead of moving, she just laid there and enjoyed watching her as she slept and the warmth of their closeness. She noticed how her breath gently lifted the tiny strand of blonde hair that was lying across her mouth. She thought she looked so young when she slept, her features taking on a softer look instead of the severe Borg exterior that everyone was used to seeing on the young woman. B'Elanna could not resist the urge to remove the strand of hair that was distracting from the beauty of her face.

Seven began to stir. As her eyes opened she noticed that she was being stared at and was covered by the limbs of dark woman lying beside her.

"Good morning sleepyhead," B'Elanna said with a grin.

"Good morning B'Elanna. Did you sleep well?" Seven responded not making mention of the shorter woman's proximity to her.

B'Elanna attempted to casually extract herself from Seven as she talked to her. "How did you sleep?"

"I was able to sleep for approximately 4 hours 42 minutes. That has been the longest I have been able to achieve sleep." Seven seemed proud of her achievement.

"You looked peaceful as you slept," B'Elanna said with a smile. "Are you ready to get something to eat? We can go to that Bistro we passed last night."

"That will be acceptable." Seven began to get out of bed to change clothes.

"I didn't mean right now," B'Elanna said quickly not wanting to relinquish the intimacy she felt with the body that was laying next to her. With those words she lay back down next to her.

Seven was enjoying the closeness she was experiencing with her friend. She found that the lieutenant had lost the bite and fury that she usually possessed in engineering. This woman was tender and kind and treated her with more caring then she had ever thought possible. Lying here next to B'Elanna she knew she could truly grow to care about her even if she wasn't sure what that meant.

The two women stayed in bed talking about irrelevant things like what they were going to have for breakfast, what they were going to wear from their new clothes and what the other members of the crew may be doing on their shore leave. After about an half hour, they both reluctantly agreed to get up and go in search of breakfast.

This morning they did not have a problem getting a table and to the Klingon's delight they were not joined by any other members of the crew.

As they sat and ate a light breakfast they conversed about what they were going to do today. B'Elanna knew she had to make a decision about the holo-experience. She started this venturewith a specific goal in mind and if she were to walk away from this now she would walk away without her honor. How would Seven think of her, more importantly what would she think about herself.

"B'Elanna? B'Elanna are you listening to me?" Seven stated in a raised voice trying to get the woman's attention.

"Huh? What did you say?" the half Klingon stated being brought out of her thoughts. "Oh sorry, I guess I was lost in thought."

"What were you thinking about that had you so distracted?" Seven queried.

This is where a decision had to be made, the same decision that she had been fighting with herself since yesterday. She owned it to Seven to be honest with her. "I was thinking about the holo-experience with my father." She stared at the steaming cup of coffee in front of her not being able to look at the blue eyes that she knew were looking at her.

"Have you decided to commence with the holo-experience?"

Still staring at her coffee, she quietly responded, "I can do it if you go with me."

Confused since she had already agreed to accompany her, she asked, "Do you not recall me agreeing to accompany you? I would be honored to go with you."

"I know. I just needed to hear it again. Thank you," she whispered raising her eyes to meet her friends.

They finished their breakfast in silence. Seven knew that it was important that B'Elanna spend this time alone with her own thoughts.

Breaking the silence, the dark woman put her hand on top of her companion's and said, "When this is over, I promise to show you a good time. We can do whatever you want. Okay?" They looked at each other again. "Let's get this over with." B'Elanna rose from her seat leaving payment on the table for their meal and waited for the taller woman to join her.

The pair found themselves in front of the Holocenter looking at the entrance of the building. Seven had contacted the center after they left the restaurant to inform them that B'Elanna would be coming for her session regarding her father today after being asked to it by her friend.

Knowing the woman felt comforted from her apprehension when she held her hand when she entered the building the other day, Seven held out her hand and said, "Shall we go inside and get this over with." Seven looked at B'Elanna with a dry smile which was weakly returned.

Having gone through the initial setup the day before, the setup went quickly. B'Elanna had chosen to relive the conversation she had with her father at that last camping trip and right before he left twelve days later. Seven felt it best that she just be an observer for this simulation instead of actively participating as before.

Instead of sitting in nervous energy as she did before while waiting for the holosuite to be prepared, B'Elanna paced back and forth in a combination of nervousness and barely contained anger. Seven did not know what or if she should say something. She had seen this woman many times and this was the woman that both intrigued and frustrated her. She felt she could handle the reaction if it was directed at her but not knowing this unfamiliar foe she could not offer any assistance or solace.

The attendant came into the room to inform them that their suite was ready. "Miss Torres and Miss Nine your holosuite is ready. Please follow me." The young humanoid male with yellow tuffs of golden hair that appeared to be all over his body led the two women down a brightly decorated hall. "Miss Torres we have set up your experience as you requested. Miss Nine you will be able observe the memory but not participate as you did before and the characters will not respond to your presence. It is quite unusual to combine more than one separate event into one experience. But you know what they say, the customer is always right." The young man jabbered on not really paying attention to the response of his charges. "You will have one minute between simulations. If you need more time just say freeze program and when you want it to start again, just say resume." He stopped outside holosuite and gestured them into the room with a flourish of his hand. "If you need further…"

B'Elanna was becoming angry at the man who was talking to them like they were first year cadets and struggled to contain her frustration. "P'taq, I know how…"

"We understand the parameters of the holosuite. Thank you for your assistance," Seven quickly interrupted sensing her friend's growing anger. B'Elanna shot her a quick glare then quickly soften to communicate her gratitude for help in stopping her from looking like a targ's ass. The young man turned and left without saying anything further.

B'Elanna stood staring at the door for several long moments trying to remember the relaxation techniques taught to her by Tuvok. Seven stood next to her and took her right hand and gave it a light squeeze before letting it go. She looked over at the blonde and gave her a heartfelt smile before she entered the suite.

The attendant turned and left the way he came muttering to himself, "Why do customers also want to change their memories or relive unpleasant times? Don't they understand this is entertainment?" He continued to mutter as he disappeared down the hall unbeknownst to Seven and B'Elanna.

When B'Elanna entered the suite she found herself inside a tent. She dropped to her knees looking through the flap and she saw several other tents scattered around a blazing campfire. She recognized the site immediately as the spot her father and uncle took her and her cousin camping when she lived on Kessik IV. It was late in the evening; the only light was provided by the fire and the full moon. In the tent she was surrounded by the PADDs she was reading and various other items she remembered bringing with her on the trip to keep her from getting bored. She fingered each item reliving the memories that they held for her. Her attention was drawn to the fire pit as she heard familiar male voices by the fire.

Seven stepped through the door immediately after B'Elanna and found that she was in the middle of a forest with several tents occupied by three human juvenile adolescents. There were two adult males that were not inside of tents but around the fire, they did not notice her presence. She also spotted a tent that was occupied by B'Elanna but she also seemed unaware that she was there. It was true that they had made her an unobtrusive observer.

B'Elanna leaned closer to the flap of the tent so she could hear better even though she knew what was being said between her uncle and her father.

B'Elanna saw her father, John sitting facing the fire as the flames danced across his face. Her uncle had come from one of the tents to join him. Her Uncle Carl had just finished talking to Dean about that prank he had played on her earlier that day.

"Listen, I'm sorry," Carl said apologetically to his brother as he joined him on the opposite side of the fire.

"For what?" John responded somewhat surprised.

"For the way Dean treated B'Elanna. I had a talk with him."

"He was just doing what eleven year olds do," he said with a heavy sigh. "I'm sure B'Elanna over reacted."

B'Elanna whispered to herself, "Everyone always assumed I over reacted. I never got a fair shake."

Carl looked at his brother, "What makes you say that?"

"She's too damn sensitive!" he said with frustration. B'Elanna felt the sting of those words now just like she felt them when her father first said them.

"What do you mean? She's a great kid." The child B'Elanna didn't realize how much her uncle was on her side back then. She was just so focused on the man who was her world that turned against her.

He looks blankly at the cup in his hand before he speaks with a mixture of sadness and frustration in his voice. "You haven't been around the last couple of years. She's gotten moody, unpredictable…argumentative. She's like her mother."

"I thought you loved Miral's intensity?" Carl asked trying to lighten the mood.

"Everything becomes a fight with her. I guess the older I get the less intensity a man…" With a sad chuckle he continues, "That's funny how mom and dad always turn out to be right."

"What do you mean," Carl questions his brother.

"Mom warned me not to marry Miral."

"Mom liked Miral."

"Sure she did but she never thought I had the constitution to live with a Klingon…and now I live with two of them," he said with a resigned deep sign.

As she listened to the conversation between the two most important men in her life, she didn't know if the tears were that of the child B'Elanna or the woman she was today. What her father said was just as painful to her as an adult as it was when she was a child. And she had reacted as a young girl, she gathered her things to run away from the situation.

She ran a few meters from the campsite and starting stuffing her small bag to leave. She realized that she this is where she learned to run when things got rough.

She didn't hear when her father walked up behind her.

"What are you doing?" her father gently asked placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled pulling away from his touch. "You know what's wrong!"

Looking at his daughter with sad eyes, "No, I don't"

"Maybe I'm just moody and unpredictable," she snapped at her father.

"What are you talking about?" he questioned.

"I heard what you said to Uncle Carl."

"You shouldn't listen into private conversations," gently scolded her father.

"You shouldn't have said what you did about mommy." B'Elanna could feel the heat of anger through her tears. She felt sympathy for mother and began to wonder what it was really like during this time for her.

When her father grasped her shoulders to take her to sit on the log, she wanted to turn into his embrace and bury herself in his strong arms. But her anger and hurt kept her from doing what may have helped her bridge that void that was quickly forming between them. He sat her on the log and kneeled in front of her keeping his hands on her shoulders.

"B'Elanna, listen to me. Your mother and I…are having problems but that doesn't mean…"

"You don't love her anymore," she accused her father.

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is and you don't love me either," she said wanting to hurt the man the way she felt hurt.

"B'Elanna…" He was feeling at a lost as to how to comfort his daughter.

"You're no different than anyone else, you don't like Klingons. You said it!"

Feeling frustrated her father responded, "You're twisting my words B'Elanna."

"If you can't stand living with us then why don't you just leave," she cried with angry tears. The words escaped her lips before she could stop them. She stood quickly and went back over to the items she was packing and crumpled to her knees and placed her head on her pack and sobbed. Her father not knowing how to help his child anymore thought it best that she just cry it out by herself and walked back to camp.

Seven having watched the whole thing play out, wondered what she should do. Even though the two women had agreed before coming to the center that B'Elanna would go through the whole experience without inference from her friend she had a hard time seeing her in pain.

The chime sounded signaling the one minute interval between experiences. B'Elanna had not yet regained her composure to continue. Seven felt that she had to do something to help her friend. "Computer, freeze program."

For several long moments, the fallen woman child did not move. She had not noticed that the scene had frozen or noticed the tall figure standing over her. She slowly lifted her tear filled eyes and met the compassionate eyes of the blonde. Seven knelt down next to her and she fell into her arms and began to cry again. After another few minutes, her cries turned into breathless wheezes. As B'Elanna looked out unseeing she felt the gentle loving strokes to her hair.

"Are you okay, B'Elanna?" she softly asked. "Would you care to stop this experience?"

It took several moments for B'Elanna to comprehend what was happening and what was being asked of her. Her first instinct was to push away this woman and get angry at her for being a witness to her weakness. "What are you doing? Leave me alone!" the ex-Klingon yelled as she tried to pull free of the embrace.

"No, please B'Elanna. Be still. I am here." Seven tighten her embrace around the distraught woman as she rocked her gently humming the same soothing tune her Grandmother had sung to her the previous day. She felt the smaller woman relax in her arms reminding Seven of how she felt in arms when they were dancing.

They sat on the floor of the simulated forest for several long minutes neither saying a word just finding comfort in the connection with each other. B'Elanna slowly turned so she could face her friend as she slowly wiped the tears from her face.

"You must think I'm a damn fool," she said with a sarcastic grin. With a horse chuckle she added, "Some Klingon, huh?" As she touched her arm, her eyes became misty again as if she was about ready to cry. "Thank you Seven. Not many people would do what you did, but a friend would. I'm glad you're my friend and I'm glad you're here."

"I am honored to be here with you." Seven lowered her eyes from B'Elanna's gaze, "I am honored to be your friend."

B'Elanna felt a surge of love and compassion for her dear friend. She lifted her chin so their eyes would meet, "I know I can finish this journey with you here. Thank you." She lifted her chin so that they were face to face and without any thought placed a tender kiss on Seven's lush lips. Both women closed their eyes as they leaned into the kiss. The kiss held more tenderness and warmth which was felt deeply by both women that left both women longing for more.

When their lips parted, they embraced in a caring hug with each other. Seven rose off the ground and brought B'Elanna up with her. "Thank you B'Elanna." Seven was not sure if she should express what she was feeling currently. In truth, she wasn't sure what emotions she was experiencing but she knew they were intensely linked to the woman in her arms. "Are you ready to complete your journey now?" the tall blonde quietly asked.

B'Elanna wiped the remaining tears from her face with both hands then turned to smile brightly at her ex-Borg as she took a deep breath. "Computer resume program."

As the grid to the Holodeck changed, both women found themselves in a house that was typical of those on Kessick IV. Seven was in the hallway looking at the doors of two rooms. Both doors were cracked about five centimetes with voices coming from one of the rooms, a Human adult male and an adult Klingon female. It was not hard to miss the conversation as both voices were yelling.

B'Elanna found herself behind the door of her childhood bedroom. The door was cracked but she didn't need to have it open to know the angry voices of her parents. She wanted to cower behind the door as she did when she was a child on that fateful day. It was amazing how quickly she was transported back to being the child witnessing the destruction of her family. But this time she needed to see what really happened between her parents and find out why her father left her that day. She silently went to her parents' door so she could see them more clearly. She did not notice Seven standing at the other end of the hallway. She had all but forgotten the support of her dear friend from moments ago.

B'Elanna realized that this was her chance to discover the truth and she wasn't the child that allowed her father to walk out the door. She walked quietly to her parents' door and looked inside to see what she only heard those many years ago.

"Miral can't we talk about this sensibly? Why must we always fight?" John pleaded with his wife. He tried to reach out to touch her shoulder but she turned aggressively away from him.

Miral turned and grunted forcefully at the man. "I dishonored my house and my family to be with you. I did not expect you to be as weak as a Tika cat."

"I am human. What more do you want?" John declared.

"I am Klingon!" she growled with no further explanation.

John lowered his head and turned his back to the angry Klingon, and under his breath he whispered to himself, "Maybe my mother is right." He turned back to face his wife. "What more can I do? I can no more be Klingon then you be human. Where does that leave us?"

"You knew who I was when we mated. If you can't be with me…what about B'Elanna? You are her father." Miral knew that she needed to keep her feet planted where she stood because her anger was telling her to lash out at this man that she thought she loved.

He looked deep in her eyes, "I love B'Elanna, you know that."

"She is half Klingon. Would you ask her to be anything less?"

"No, she is the most precious thing to me. I love her."

B'Elanna closed her eyes tightly as she listened to her father declare his love for her. When she was a child, she only remembered hearing those words and then minutes later hearing the door close and her father was gone. She had gone back to her dresser to get the PADD that she had been writing an apology letter to her father. As a child she thought it took her several moments before she found the right PADD. She wanted to give it to him to make up for her behavior on the camping trip. When she had gone back to her parents' room, he had already left.

Now as an adult she knew she must have missed more to their conversation and told herself she would hear and see what she missed before. She realized that what she missed did not take place in several moments but in several minutes.

She stayed by her parents' door to listen to them.

"No, she is the most precious thing to me. I love her." He lowered his head and picked up the bag he had packed earlier before they began arguing. "I love you too…but maybe I am too weak to raise a Klingon child and love a Klingon woman." He made eye contact with his wife before he said, "The way they deserve to be loved."

Miral took control of her feet and proudly strode over to the weak and defeated man and backhanded him hard across his face. "N'Gos tlhogh cha!" was all she said as she turned her back to him.

John walked out the door of their bedroom and B'Elanna slipped into a doorway so not to be seen by her father. As he walked past his daughter's room he slowed momentarily but did not stop. She heard him whisper to the door as he passed, "Please forgive me B'Elanna. Grow up to be strong like your mother…not weak like me." The he rushed to the door of the house and exited for the last time.

B'Elanna knew enough Klingon to know what her mother told her father, _our marriage is done_. She then heard her mother yell various Klingon expletives and throw things throughout the room. It wasn't until this moment that she even considered the pain her mother must have gone through when her husband walked out and left her to raise a half Klingon child on a human world that barely tolerated their presence. B'Elanna was a child with a broken family but her mother was a woman without a family.

Thinking back on her time on Qo'noS, she regretted being so hard on her mother and her mother's culture, 'my culture' she said to herself. She also wished she had heard the words clearly that night and opened the door sooner to see her father. That night she had heard the mumbled words and her mother yelling. She wished it hadn't taken so many years and so many thousands of light years away from home to finally learn the truth. She had made up her mind to go to her mother and offer her comfort as she didn't do before. But as soon as she reached for the door, the room dissolved into the black grid of the holosuite.

For the second time that day, B'Elanna crumpled to the floor as she screamed, "Nooo!" She curled into a fetal position and began to cry.

Seven who had witnessed the whole scene rushed again to her friend's side and gathered the distraught woman up in her arms. She began to rock her as she did before and whispered short phrases into her hair as she tried to soothe her once again. She remembered how doing this made Naomi Wildman feel better when her mother and Neelix attempted to comfort the little girl when she was sad.

This time B'Elanna didn't try to push Seven away but wrapped her arms tightly around the lithe body of her friend. After a few minutes, the blonde noticed that B'Elanna breathing had achieved a normal rate and the tears had ceased to fall. She quietly said, "B'Elanna we have to leave now. Are you prepared to go?"

With a deep sigh the shorter woman looked up into the face of the woman who for the second time that day had offered her comfort and not dishonor for her weakness.

"Yes, I'm ready to go. I'm tired. I just want to go back to the room and go to sleep."

As they got up off the floor and headed out the building back to their room, B'Elanna wrapped her arm around Seven's waist and leaned her head on her strong shoulder. Seven instinctively placed her arm around her shoulder. They walked that way for several minutes with neither saying a word. Neither woman thought about being seen by any of their fellow crewmates all they thought about was this moment and the closeness between the two of them.

Without lifting her head from the woman's shoulder she said, "Thank you again Seven."

When they reached their room, B'Elanna kicked off her shoes and begin to crawl into bed. Seven wasn't sure what to do so did what she thought would be helpful. "I will go obtain nourishment for you for when you have completed your regeneration." She begin to head towards the door.

"Please Seven, don't go." She raised her head and looked at her friend with sad eyes. "Lie down with me. Please hold me." She said this last request not in the voice of a grown woman but in the voice of a young girl who had watched her family fall apart again.

Seven walked silently over to the bed and crawled in behind B'Elanna and wrapped her arms around her pulling her snuggly to confirm to her natural curves. She then lightly kissed the top of the brown head of hair, "Of course." Their bodies so close that they could feel the heat from each other was becoming a sensation that both women were growing accustomed to. After awhile B'Elanna had gone to sleep feeling safe and loved and Seven felt content to lie there and hold her as long as she would allow her to.

**Chapter Ten**

The light from the afternoon sun that glimmered off the signs and buildings shone into the window. B'Elanna began to stir still feeling tired, more emotionally tired then physically. Seven still had her wrapped in a tight embrace. She felt the warmth of her breath on her neck and the heat from her body radiating throughout her. She had a contented toothy smile exude over her face knowing that this woman cared for her.

"You are awake," Seven quietly stated after feeling the woman stir. She had vowed to hold her for as long as she was allowed. She tried at some point to sleep after realizing that her companion was not going to wake anytime soon but she could not sleep because she was so entranced by the woman lying next to her.

"Yes. Thank you for holding me." B'Elanna turned in her arms so she could look into her face. "You didn't have to continue to hold me after I fell asleep, but I'm glad you did."

"It was of no inconvenience to me. You stated that you needed my support. I was glad that I could help you. I wanted to help you."

"Thank you. I seem to be saying that a lot today but I really mean it."

Looking intently into B'Elanna's face Seven asked, "Are you still troubled by your experiences from today? Would you care to talk about it?"

B'Elanna closed her eyes tightly trying to keep more tears from falling. "I can't believe that's how it really happened. But I guess if I was able to look at it through an adult's eyes I may have seen the truth. I was so angry at him back them. I guess I still am to some extent."

"Did it help for you to relive those times again?"

"I'm not sure. I think it may have stirred up more questions than it answered," she said softly. "I never thought about how my mother may have felt. I always blamed her for him leaving us."

"According to what your father stated in the simulation he didn't want to leave you or your mother but felt he was doing what was best for you both. Is that not the role of a parent?" Her question was asked to not only to help B'Elanna but as a question about her own parents. She had rationalized the reason her parents had brought her with them in their exploration of the Borg. Did she have a greater right to be angry with her parents then B'Elanna towards her parents? She attempted to put this thought out of her mind; she was here to assist B'Elanna.

The words that her father said as she listened behind her bedroom door before he walked out forever came blaring back to her like a red alert klaxon, 'I am too weak to raise a Klingon child and love a Klingon woman. The way they should be loved.'

"I am a part of him. Maybe I am weak like him. I know I have my mother's temper. What does that make me?" At that last statement, tears quietly began to fall.

Seven reached up to wipe a tear from her cheek. "You are a very strong woman, someone that everyone admires. Because you are part human and part Klingon, you are even more special. You can overcome whatever weakness you think you may have." She turned her head away from her friend and whispered, "You were shown how to overcome your weakness by your parents. Unlike me." She had not meant her last comment to be said or heard but found that she had no control to stop it.

"What? What did you say?" B'Elanna looked at the young woman with curiosity.

She closed her eyes and then opened them slowly before she spoke. "It is true. I did not have parents that helped me learn to overcome the confusion of the joining of my two halves unlike you."

"That's not true Seven. You have us. You have me," she responded holding her hand trying to give comfort. "You have become more then your two halves. You were not born Borg and you have the gifts your parents gave you to be human before you were assimilated. A Borg would not have been able to show the compassion that you showed me today. You have become better then you think."

"At times I am unsure," Seven responded with a hint of sadness in her voice.

B'Elanna swallowed the large lump that grew in her throat. She realized more then ever what Seven had sacrificed to allow her to discover and tie together those missing threads from her past. She realized what she sacrificed when she was assimilated and again when she was severed from the collective. "I have been such a PetaQ! You have been there for me these past two days as I relived my memories. I had not thought once about what it was doing to you. Can you forgive me? I want to be there for you. You need to find peace with your past even more than I do. Will you let me be there for you?" She squeezed the hand that she was still holding and smiled lovingly at the blonde.

Seven did not know how to respond. Having been a part of B'Elanna's past these two days had stirred up more then she wanted to admit. She was fine thinking that her feelings of the past did not serve any logical purpose for her present life but now she wasn't sure. What would it do if she were to go back to a time when the Borg were just the funny people that her parents watched? Would experiencing the love of her parents help her learn to love the woman who lay next to her?

Sincerely wanting to know her opinion she asked, "Do you think if I participated in the holo-experience it would help me acquire my humanity?"

Thinking about the appropriate response, the half Klingon brought her hand up to her lips and placed a light kiss on her palm. "It may not help you gain your humanity but it might help you remember that you are human. I think you have already gained your humanity," she answered simply. "I will be with you if you want me there. I will understand if you want to do it alone. I will wait for you."

"I want you there with me."

"Thank you. I will be honored. Is there a time you are thinking of revisiting?"

Seven took a deep breath, turned on her back and looked at the ceiling. "I have a limited span of memories to choose from before I was assimilated by the Borg. What shall I choose?"

"What made you feel the most…" B'Elanna struggled to come up with the right word, "…human?"

"My parents had a birthday party for me when I turned six. We were all together and happy." Her contented expression changed to a combination of sad and scared and her voice became very small. "Ten weeks later the men came and took my parents and me away." She just began to stare past her friend obviously caught in that moment.

Becoming concerned, B'Elanna gently shook her friend's shoulder, "Seven? Seven are you alright?"

"I am sorry. The memory of being taken by the Borg still disturbs me."

Trying to come up with something to get her thoughts off the horrific memory, B'Elanna suggested that she relive the birthday party that brought her happy memories of her time with her parents. Seven agreed.

After talking more about her birthday party and other happy times she had with her parents aboard the USS Raven, both women decided that they should get up and go in search of food. After eating, they walked through the town square talking about Seven's holo-experience. She decided that she wanted to do it today instead of waiting until tomorrow. They had contacted the Holocenter and were able to schedule time for later that day. So for the second time that day, they found themselves in front of the Halocenter.

Unlike B'Elanna, Seven entered the center in her usual stoic self showing very little emotion. The pair made their way to the waiting room and sat in anxious silence. Seven sat watching the door with unmoving eyes with the occasional glance over toward B'Elanna who was doing the same. The half-Klingon was concerned about her young friend knowing the experience that she had gone through earlier that day. She hoped that it would be a more positive experience like she had with her grandmother.

"Seven are you okay?" B'Elanna asked gently placing her hand lightly on her arm.

Seven turned her head and looked at her friend. She was trying to organize her thoughts and emotions in preparation for her experience. She knew she was capable of handling whatever might occur, but still she was unsure of how she should approach the experience to gain the most from it. "I am fine," was her simple reply.

Not sure if she believed her entirely, she left her hand on her arm and squeezed lightly. "Are you sure you want me to be there? Or would you rather I wait for you here?"

Her eyes opened wide as she answered quickly, "No! I want you to be there to observe. I would value your interpretation of the experience."

"Seven, you understand its not something that you watch and observe but experience and relive how you felt to have your parents share their love for you. This is for you to experience not to analyze."

She lowered her eyes and quietly stated, "I am unsure how I should experience this time. I know what occurred but I do not know how to experience the emotions."

"Oh Seven, you have more capability then you realize. You showed so much compassion for me today. Please let yourself feel the love your parents had for you. You deserve that and so much more." B'Elanna moved her hand from her arm to Seven's soft alabaster cheek and cupped it gently and looked deeply into her eyes.

At that moment the attendant came into the room surprising both women. "We are ready for you now. Follow me if you will."

Seven stood immediately and followed the young woman down the hall. B'Elanna had to hurry to catch up with them and made it to the door just as Seven walked into the suite.

The main living space of the USS Raven was decorated with bright colored streamers, a table cloth with different varieties of animals and a rainbow colored cake with six large candles circling one small candle placed on one end of the table. On the other end of the table there was a selection of young Annika's favorite foods.

Seven walked in the room and blinked quickly several times as she took in the scene. Her memory went back to that time and she forgot that she was ever taken by the Borg for a short time. She walked over to the table and stuck her finger in the cake to taste the icing as she did when she was a young child.

"Annika! Not until we eat sweetheart," her mother gently scolded her anxious daughter.

Seven turned and faced her mother as she put her hand behind her back in an attempt to hide it from her mother. "I just wanted to taste the cake," was her reply.

"You know we have to wait for your father to finish his research and then we can celebrate your birthday." She went over to her daughter and lovingly cupped her cheek and whispered in her ear, "Besides your papa has a special surprise for you."

Seven realized that she couldn't remember clearly what her father had given her for her birthday. "What is it mama?" Not being able to remember clearly distressed her.

"If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise." She winked at her and gave her a bright smile.

There were a million questions that Seven wanted to ask her mother but wasn't sure if she should or what question to ask first. She found herself standing in place and just staring at her mother. She had forgotten how beautiful she was and wondered if she had inherited her looks from her. As much as she tried to call upon her rational mind to analyze what was occurring another part of her mind was taking control. The part that was curious like a child and had the same questions as a child.

"Honey what are you looking at? Is something wrong?" Erin questioned her daughter becoming concerned.

She was brought out of her thoughts as she tried to cover her embarrassment. "I…nothing…you. I think you look pretty mama. Do I look like you?" The question came out in the voice of a six year old child.

She looked at her child with love in her eyes. "Why thank you honey, that's very sweet of you. Of course…"

"Of course you do. I have the two prettiest girls in the quadrant." The voice came booming from the doorway of her father's work room interrupting his wife.

"Papa! Where is my surprise?" Seven enthusiastically asked her father. He walked over to his daughter and enveloped her in a tight bear hug and placed multiple kisses all over her face. Her mother joined her family and the threesome began to tease each other and laugh boisterously.

B'Elanna observed the scene with tear rimmed eyes and her joy for her once Borg companion increasing with every laugh and kiss that was exchanged with her parents. She was delighted to see the carefree and relaxed nature of the young woman. She was grateful that she was able to let down her guard and truly experience this time with her parents. She hoped she would be able to take this experience with her after it was over and use it to gain more confidence in her relationships especially with her.

After the play had subsided, Magnus patted his stomach and pretended to be starving. "I thought that this was a birthday celebration! Where are all those delicious foods my girls have been making?"

"On the table next to my cake."

"Well I guess we better eat so a certain someone can eat her cake," Erin stated as she winked at her husband.

The trio sat down together at the table and ate, talked and laughed. Seven reveled in the feeling of being with her parents again. She would have never thought that she could feel this way… again or that it was important to her. Seven found herself going back to that day in her thoughts and heart when she was a little girl whose only care was what surprise her papa had for her.

"Where is my present Papa? You said I would get it after we ate."

"Indeed I did." He began to look around the room as if he had lost something, "Now where did I put that present?"

"Papa!" his daughter exclaimed.

He winked at his wife and she tried to hide her laughter from her daughter.

"Oh here it is," he said laughing brightly at his daughter as he pulled a colorful, long oblong box from under the table. Seven didn't remember seeing the box there before.

She came around the table and hugged her father tightly as she took her gift. She opened the box and the Seven began to tear up when she saw the porcelain doll dressed in a yellow dress with blue flowers. All her memories of the doll came flooding back to her. She remembered that she had named her Sally and she was her constant companion until she was taken by the Borg. "Thank you Papa," her reply more melancholy then she had intended.

Her mother lit the candles on the cake as Seven sat in the chair between her mother and father hugging her doll. She found herself looking between her parents with a look that had both fondness and sadness. As her parents sang happy birthday to her eyes that were still filled with tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. It took her several long moments to compose herself until she felt in control enough to blow out the candles. She lowered her head and began to study her Borg implants on her hand as tears filled her eyes again. She was becoming frustrated at her lack of control over her emotions.

Her mother noticed the look on her daughter's face and went and took her hands in her own and brought them to her lips and gave them a gentle kiss and then repeated the same on her cheek.

"Honey what's the matter? Pretty girls shouldn't cry on their birthday, especially their 6th birthday," she softly cooed as she lovingly stroked her blonde hair. After her daughter appeared to calm down she told her, "Why don't you blow out your candles and make a wish sweetheart?"

Seven wanted to shout that this did not occur during this birthday. She tried to force herself to continue with the memory as she recalled it happening. She didn't cry when she blew out her candles. She laughed and played games with her parents. She didn't worry about the Borg coming to take her parents away, to take her away from the love and warmth of her family. And then she flashed back to the conversation she had with B'Elanna back on Voyager about how her life would have been if she had been raised by her parents and for the first time since had been separated from the collective, Seven felt true grief, sadness and anger toward her parents.

Seeing the sadness in his daughter, Magnus placed his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into a tight hug as he kissed the head of his daughter. He looked with a great deal of concern at his wife who stood beside him trying to find an answer for the moodiness of their daughter.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" he questioned.

Seven looked first at her mother and then at her father. She took her human hand from her mother grasp and then reached out to touch her mother's cheek with the shaking topside of her hand. She had forgotten how soft and warm her skin was. Her father brought both his arms around his daughter and then brought his wife into the embrace to increase the connection with their daughter.

With a small, quiet voice she asked her parent, "Mama, Papa, will you love me no matter what I am to become?"

Her parents looked at each other and then to their daughter and answered in unison, "Of course we will."

"Honey, what would make you ask a question like that? You are the most important person in our lives," her father stated as he tighten his hold on her.

With his last statement, Seven felt her anger towards her parents intensify and her mind swirled with so many unanswerable question. 'Why would they bring me here if they cared about my welfare? Could they not see how dangerous the Borg were? To bring a child out here where they could not protect themselves…or me.' Hot salty tears fell with abandon down her cheeks as she wiped them away with sharp angry strokes of her hands.

B'Elanna was becoming concerned for her friend as she saw the sudden change in her demeanor. This was supposed to be a happy experience for her but by the look on her face she knew she was experiencing something other than joy. In fact, she had only seen these emotions on Seven's face once before when she lost One. She debated whether she should halt the simulation to allow her time to compose herself but before she could decide she saw Seven stand and command the simulation to end.

B'Elanna rushed toward the blonde who for some odd reason looked much smaller. Before she could reach her she exited the holosuite. Running after her proved to be more of a challenge then B'Elanna realized. As she entered the hallway, there was no sight of Seven. Becoming worried she frantically began looking in the waiting rooms thinking that she needed some solitude to sort out her thoughts. She came across the attendant who had assisted them.

"Hey! Can you help me? I'm looking for my companion, have you seen her?"

"Was she a tall blonde female?"

"Yes! Have you seen her? Which way did she go?" B'Elanna was becoming anxious. This behavior was so out of character for the usually emotionally controlled woman. She began to berate herself for talking Seven into doing this whole thing.

The woman looked at the brunette with a curious expression. "I believe she left the building. I saw her walk pass me heading toward the main entrance." Before B'Elanna could run after her, the attendant placed her hand on her arm halting her departure. "May I ask you a question?" she didn't wait for her reply before she continued. "You chose a memory that did not have a positive outcome and you chose not to alter its conclusion and even though your friend chose what should have been a happy memory, she allowed her past to alter her enjoyment of the experience. I fail to see the logic in your decisions. The majority of patrons utilize the Holocenter for entertainment and enjoyment, you two appear to have wanted to live in your past discomfort."

B'Elanna became angry at the woman and could no longer hold her temper. "What do you know about us? How dare you snoop into our personal lives!" With that she pushed past the woman and ran out the building to look for Seven.

As she exited the building, she blinked rapidly trying to become adjusted to the late afternoon sun. She thought that Seven would head back to their room so that is where she went.

She rushed through open the door and yelled for Seven. There was no sign of her in the main room so she looked through the rest of the rooms to no avail. Walking back into the main room she walked over to the window and wondered where Seven could have gone. "She wouldn't have gone back to Voyager without telling me, would she? No she has too much integrity to do something like that. But I've never seen her that emotionally distraught. Kah'less where could she be?' She sat heavily on the couch trying to center her thoughts and think about things logically.

B'Elanna had practically ran back to the room sure that Seven would be there that she didn't take the time to look into various places she could be along the way. She thought about the places that they had been over that past few days and wondered if she would revisit any of those places. She realized sitting on the couch was not helping her find her friend so she jumped up and headed for the door. As she placed her hand on the door knob, the door slowly opened and in walked Seven.

B'Elanna hurriedly went to hug her but was stopped short by her severe expression that communicated that she did not want to be touched. "Seven, where have you been? I couldn't find. Are you alright?" B'Elanna rapidly asked her.

Seven walked fully into the room exhibiting her usual cool Borg composure. She stood in front of B'Elanna with her hands clasps behind her back in her customary pose. She was looking in the direction of the smaller woman but looking right past her. "I am sorry that I have concerned you by my actions. I am undamaged."

"Seven what's the matter? You look…you look strange. What's going on?" B'Elanna was worried about her friend.

"My appearance has not been altered," Seven responded in a flat tone.

B'Elanna's mind was reeling trying to figure out what happen to Seven during her holo-experience. This wasn't the same woman from a few hours ago. Did she overload on emotions? Did something take place that she wasn't aware of? She reached out and slowly took Seven's hand from behind her back and quietly led her to the couch to sit down. She was half surprised that she followed her so willingly but grateful hoping that she had not reverted back to the Seven of old. The blonde sat stiffly on the couch not looking as B'Elanna sat next to her still holding her hand.

They sat this way for several minutes; Seven staring out the window not looking at anything in particular and B'Elanna staring at Seven as she held her hand. It was in those minutes that B'Elanna gave any notice to what hand she was holding, her Borg enhanced hand. She smiled to herself that this was the first time she had noticed which hand she touched or had touched her. Which was odder to her is that she realized it didn't matter which hand as long as they were touching.

Her eyes moved from the hand she held up to the face of the woman it belonged to. She took a deep breath before she felt confident to speak. "Seven, are you okay? I was so worried when I couldn't find you. Please talk to me." She squeezed her pale hand in her dark hand as she waited for her to reply.

Seven continued to look out the window not moving a muscle. B'Elanna was becoming more concerned about the woman.

Seven dropped her head and began to speak in a quiet voice. "B'Elanna I do not know if I can manage the burden of my humanity, of my emotions."

"What do you mean Seven?"

She finally turned to look at B'Elanna. "I thought that revisiting my birthday would be straightforward. I was unprepared to handle the intensity of the feelings that it brought up for me." She stared intently into the dark eyes of her companion. "Was it that way for you?"

B'Elanna felt her hearts breaking for her. "Oh Seven, please talk to me. Tell me what happen."

As much as she tried to maintain her composure, she felt her resolve failing as her eyes filled with tears. "I thought you said it would be a pleasant experience to revisit my birthday. Why did you not tell me I would experience other memories and thoughts as well?"

"Seven, I di…" B'Elanna was interrupted by Seven.

"Why did they do it? Why did they not care about themselves…or me?" the emotional woman asked in an elevated voice.

B'Elanna put her arm around her and drew her close. "Who are you talking…oh your parents. I don't believe your parents did anything to harm you on purpose. From what I observed, they loved you very much."

"It was irresponsible for them to bring a child into such a dangerous situation!" Seven yelled as she sat up straight.

"I don't think your parents knew how dangerous the Borg really were until it was too late. Your parents were scientist." B'Elanna was trying to think of anything that would help comfort her. She again berated herself for talking her into doing something that she was obviously not ready for. The fact that her actions may have hurt Seven pained B'Elanna greatly. "If I would have thought that you taking part in the holo-experience would hurt you, I never would have pushed you to do it. I'm so sorry."

_Seven realized that her friend's reaction to her pain is what she wanted from her parents but it was too late for that now. She wanted to feel again the love of her parents because she desperately wanted to feel love for the dark woman sitting next to her._ "Can you help me understand? Can you help me understand the emotions I experienced?" she asked in a hushed voice as she looked intently into those dark brown eyes.

Tired of feeling selfish about her own feelings, B'Elanna gave her friend a smile as she took her hands and said, "Of course, tell me what you felt."

"I remember that day, the excitement of the party and the surprise my father had for me. I remembered the taste of the food. My mother allowed me to help make my favorite foods. We played games and they sang Happy Birthday to me. They gave me the doll to be my friend. I named her Sally. I lost her when the angry men came."

B'Elanna saw and heard Seven begin to revert back to that six year old little girl as she explained about her birthday and her doll Sally. The only thing that she thought to do in this situation was to pull the young woman in her arms and hold her as she continued her story.

"Do you think it was true that they would still love me even after I became Borg?"

"Yes I believe it is true. They would still love you no matter what."

"How do you know?

B'Elanna swallowed hard before speaking. "I know…because I would love you. I love you. It was not your fault that you were Borg. I know that now and your parents know that no matter where they are." She realized that she had verbalized her love for Seven out loud and wasn't sure how she wanted her to interpret it.

"You love me? Why? How could anyone love me after what I have done? You used to hate me," she said as she tilted her head off B'Elanna's shoulder to look at her.

The dark woman chuckled quietly thinking to herself, 'I thought I held the market on self pity?'

"Seven how could I not love you. You stood by me as I went through the worst time of my life and you have not judged me. I owe you at least that now."

"You use to blame me for the atrocities I committed as Borg."

"I know. I was stupid and ignorant. You are not that person Seven. You have a loving heart and you care for those around you. You have become a true friend to me. I have seen it. I have felt it," she softly said as she stroked her blonde hair. B'Elanna cursed to herself for describing her as just a friend when she wanted so much more. Her fear of rejection stopped her from going further.

Seven thought about what she said. She had so many conflicting thoughts going through her mind that she didn't take the time to focus on B'Elanna stating that she loved her like a friend. It was the conflict about her parents that weighed more heavily on her mind. "I miss my parents. I am angry at my parents…and…I love my parents. Is all that possible at the same time B'Elanna?"

"Yes it is all possible. Feeling those things about your parents is actually very normal, very human. So I guess you know what that means, you're human." B'Elanna felt Seven begin to relax into her embrace and smiled at the woman's increasing level of comfort with her.

The two women spent the rest of the evening discussing Seven's feelings about her parents, what caused her to end the simulation so abruptly and how to start dealing with all her new emotions. B'Elanna was grateful that Seven didn't want to discuss the whole 'I love you' thing at least not right now. They talked late into the evening only stopping to get food from the replicator after their conversation was interrupted by a Klingon stomach growling and ending when said Klingon fell asleep on the couch snuggled next to Seven using her shoulder for a pillow.

Seven felt more content after her conversation. She was able to make peace with the choices her parents made as well as resolving some of her own feelings of loss for not being able to grow up knowing her parents. She realized that memories and remembering them is not irrelevant but at times necessary. She felt that she and B'Elanna will have more time to discuss their feelings toward each other whatever they may be. She hoped that the love that she spoke about was more than friendship and hoped that she would know how to return the feeling. But that was a discussion for tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 6

**Living in the Past**

**By mapsnika**

**Chapter Eleven**

B'Elanna woke to the late morning sun shining on her face. She was stretched out on the couch covered by a light blanket from the bed. Seven was not in sight. For a split instance, she worried that she had gone back to the ship having become fed up with all the bullshit of yesterday. Then she smelled something that resembled hot coffee. She sat up and looked over the couch to see Seven sitting at the table which was covered in various breads, fruits and beverages.

"I assumed that you would be regen…sleeping late so I took the liberty to acquire suitable breakfast foods. I hope this is satisfactory?" Seven softly stated as she sat looking at the sleepy woman. She was making an effort to use less formal language as she continued to embrace her humanity.

Seven was rewarded for her efforts with a toothy grin from the dark woman which she returned with a smile of her own. "Thank you, it looks wonderful. Sorry that I fell asleep on you last night."

"I think we concluded our conversation last night. Thank you for your understanding. Are you ready to consume your morning nutrients?"

B'Elanna crawled off the crouch and began to walk over to the table when she noticed that her breath would offend a horde of Klingon warriors. "I'll be right there. Let me make myself more presentable first." Before exiting the bathroom, she called out, "Hey what do you want to do today? You still want to visit the technology center or do you have any other ideas?"

Seven was unsure if she should wait to answer her until she came out. She was not sure if she wanted to visit the technology center. Because of her experiences from yesterday, she felt that she had her fill of all things technological. That was not true, she just did not want to think about anything that has do with holo-technology, at least not today.

"Did you hear me? What do you want to do today? And don't say whatever I want to do because we know where that got us," B'Elanna said with a smirk as she walked out of the bathroom toward the table.

The blonde waited for her friend to sit at the table before answering her. B'Elanna sat across from her and dug into the food. She knew that there was more to talk about but she was afraid to do it now. Admitting to herself that she was afraid left a bitter taste in her mouth even though she was eating a sweet pastry. She wanted to tell Seven that she loved her. No that wasn't true; she was in love with Seven but didn't know how to tell her for fear she wouldn't feel the same towards her.

Seven watched B'Elanna with curiosity as she ate with a veracious appetite. She did want to spend more time with this woman apart from memories of their past. "I understand that there is a body of water just past the forest that is said to be pleasing to the eye. Would you like to see it with me?"

Taken by surprise that Seven actually came up with an activity, B'Elanna had to bring her napkin to her mouth quickly so she wouldn't spit food all over the table.

"Are you alright B'Elanna?"

Coughing to clear her throat, "Um yeah. You just surprised me that's all." Seeing the questioning look on her face, she continued. "So you want to go to a lake, that's sounds wonderful and relaxing."

"Maybe we could bring food to consume while we are there. I have heard that people take food and eat there."

"Seven, are you asking me out on a date?" teased B'Elanna. She felt her hearts sing for joy at the prospect of Seven possible asking her out on a date.

The young woman hadn't thought of the encounter being a date but remembering the pleasing time she had on their previous date she wanted to repeat the experience. "Yes. Yes I am asking you on a date to go to the lake."

"I accept. Should we take our swimsuits? It looks like it's going to be a nice day," B'Elanna asked with a smile plastered over her face.

"I enjoyed swimming the other day. I think that would be acceptable. When would you like to leave?"

"Let me take a shower first and then we can leave. We could pick up what we want to eat on the way to the lake. Why don't you pack a bag with our swim gear and a blanket to sit on at the lake and whatever else you think we might need while I shower, okay?" B'Elanna popped a piece of fruit in her mouth and took a swallow of her drink and rushed to the shower to get ready.

Seven went about the task of preparing for their _date_. She wasn't sure what all to pack, she was starting to have reservations, no it was more like nervousness about the activity she was about to engage in with B'Elanna. Her experience was limited to her one failed date, several social lessons by the Doctor and her successful date with B'Elanna. Since they were both considering this a date, she wanted it to be perfect. She hoped that they would become even closer.

B'Elanna was so nervous that it took her several attempts to get in the shower. The first time she walked in fully clothed, then she tried to go in wrapped in her towel and then she hit the controls for both the hydro and sonic shower to run at the same time. Going on another date with Seven was something she had hoped would happen in the future but to have Seven ask her was too much for her to handle. Once B'Elanna had successfully completed her shower she fussed over what to wear. It should have been a simple thing, but her nerves complicated the issue.

She finally exited the bedroom, Seven was waiting at the table with a bag packed on the table. The breakfast items had been cleared. Both women brightened when they saw each other. They knew that this day would be spent not visiting the ghosts of their past but together getting to know each other much better than they had already.

"Are you ready to go?" B'Elanna asked.

Seven stood as she replied. "I believe that I have packed the necessary items needed for our time at the lake."

"Great. I'm glad that you decided to wear your new clothes and not one of your biosuits. You look nice," she said with a smile toward the tall women. Although Seven was wearing casual clothing she had put her hair in her usual bun style which disappointed B'Elanna but she didn't want to upset her friend by mentioning it to her.

They went to the local open air market to buy the food that they were going to take with them. Seven had a good time picking out the food with B'Elanna to her surprise. B'Elanna had her try samples of various foods to decide what would taste good to her and at times would hand feed a sample to Seven causing her fingers to touch her lips. She allowed her fingers to linger on her lips moments longer then was needed to the hidden pleasure of both women.

It took more time then was needed to pick out the items for their meal but neither woman was in a hurry. They decided to walk to the lake instead of taking a transport. They spent the time talking about their experiences of the past several days, what they wanted to do at the lake and the activities they wanted to do on their last day on the planet. As they walked their hands would brush against each other or they would playfully bump into each other as they laughed. Both women were enjoying the increased physical contact they had with each other as they walked and laughed.

When they arrived at the lake, they picked out a spot that was shaded by trees with large leaves, secluded from other people and not too far from the lake. They laid out the blanket and set up their things.

There weren't many people at the lake, just a few couples and families scattered around the lake. All were spread out to afford themselves and others as much privacy as one could achieve in such an open space.

The pair settled on the blanket after they had finished unpacking their things. Seven was very meticulous as to how she laid out her items in contrast to B'Elanna who haphazardly put things in several little piles scattered across the blanket. The shorter woman tried to avoid the gaze of the blue eyes that threatened to bore a hole in the backside of her head knowing that the owner of said eyes probably disapproved of how she unpacked. B'Elanna tried unsuccessfully to hide the playful grin which caused Seven to raise her ocular implant as high as her blonde hairline.

Trying to get her mind off the mess, Seven asked, "What are we to do first?

B'Elanna chuckled lightly as she replied, "This was your idea for a date, what did you have in mind?"

The blonde got a serious look on her face thinking about the question. She knew that she should have a plan especially since the idea was originally hers. Sensing her distress, B'Elanna decided to help her out. "Hey, let's just sit here a while and talk. Then later we can go for a swim or there was someone renting watercrafts that we passed that we can take out on the lake."

"Then we can eat," Seven softly replied.

"Yeah, then we can eat," B'Elanna answered with a smile.

The couple sat in awkward bouts of silence which surprised both women since they had no problems previously talking about all sorts of things.

"So have you enjoyed… you been enjoying your shore leave?" B'Elanna said feeling stupid for asking such a simple question.

Looking out at the lake, Seven answered with a matter of fact tone, "Yes I have enjoyed my shore leave. Have you enjoyed spending your shore leave with me?"

This question took B'Elanna off guard. She didn't want to come across to strong but her hearts wanted to shout, 'Of course I have enjoyed spending time with you. I want to spend all my time with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.' But instead she simply replied, "I have enjoyed sharing my shore leave with you a great deal. Thank you." She didn't look directly at the young woman but stole a glance at her. Realizing that they were not going to talk sitting here on the blanket she suggested that they go for a swim.

"That would be acceptable. Should we change here?" Seven stood making motions to begin to change her clothes.

Although they were well isolated from the others on the lake to change without being seen, the dark woman knew she would spontaneously combust if she saw this beautiful creature strip out of her clothes in front of her. "No! no they have changing rooms where they rent the water crafts. Let's go there to change, okay. Okay let's get going." B'Elanna jumped up from the blanket grabbing her swim gear and heading off to the changing room.

Seven looked at the retreating form of her friend with curiosity. She wondered why B'Elanna was so anxious to go to the changing rooms when they could have changed right where they were. She had seen her nude form before when she was in sickbay assisting the Doctor in performing repairs to her Borg circuitry. She assumed that maybe there was a social interaction protocol that she was unaware of and followed her to the changing rooms.

After they both had changed into their swim gear they decided to rent a watercraft and go for a swim afterward. They wanted or B'Elanna wanted to fill most of their time with activities to alleviate any awkwardness between them.

"So you want to take a spin around the lake or go for a swim first?" said B'Elanna almost too eagerly.

Thinking for a moment, Seven answered, "I believe I would prefer to go for a boat ride. I think that would give us an opportunity to talk."

The half Klingon felt all the air rush from her lungs and her mouth gape open. After a few long moments she regained her ability speak. All she could say was "sure." She mentally kicked herself after all she did ask her what she wanted to do. She was really hoping to avoid talking about anything serious as she feared was the intention of the young blonde. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to her but was afraid that she may expose too much about her feelings and couldn't bear to not have them returned.

They were able to rent a medium size craft with a small propulsion system. Once they got the craft into the water, they settled in to take a leisurely ride. B'Elanna dragged her hand in the water looking off the side of the craft at the ripples being caused by the motion of the craft. She purposely didn't look at the craft's other passenger because she didn't want to give the idea that she wanted to talk. But she should have known that wouldn't stop her if she was determined to do something.

"B'Elanna…"

"Seven…"

Both women spoke at the same time. B'Elanna was still looking in the water when she called Seven's name but turned her head to look at her when she heard her name called.

"Go ahead Seven. What did you want to say?" B'Elanna was glad that she gave Seven the go ahead to speak first because she wasn't sure what she was going to say to her. Of course now she was going to have to answer whatever question the young blonde was going to ask her.

Seven nodded and began to speak. "You appear to be uncomfortable in my presence. Have I done something to cause you to change your behavior toward me?"

'Well here we go. It's time to put up or shut up. Kah'less, how do I tell her that the only thing she's done is be kind, caring and gorgeous as hell?'

"Seven, I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. I didn't mean to. I have enjoyed being with you. You have been the brightest part of my time on this planet." B'Elanna had completely turned around to look at the young woman who was also steering the watercraft as she looked intently back at her.

"I am happy to be with you as well but you still have not explained your behavior towards me." Seven gazed at B'Elanna with a hint of sadness in her eyes.

B'Elanna lowered her eyes after seeing the look in Seven's eyes. She realized it was only fair to tell her how she felt even if her feelings were not reciprocated by the young woman. But she knew she didn't want to have this conversation in the middle of the lake in case things went badly.

"Seven do you mind if we go back to our blanket and finish talking there. I promise to tell you everything." B'Elanna volunteered to take over steering the watercraft but Seven declined. The short ride to the shore was done in silence as well as the walk back to their blanket.

Once back at their blanket, the two women moved awkwardly around each other until they were able to settle on the blanket.

"You want something to eat or drink?" Seven raised her ocular implant as she looked at the dark woman in her obvious attempt to stall before she began. "I guess not." B'Elanna sighed loudly as she bowed her head trying to gather her nerve to continue.

"Seven I like you…a lot. The more time that we spend together, the more it hurts because of my feelings for you."

Seven became distressed at hearing this. She immediately felt unsure of the situation after hearing B'Elanna describe her feeling as painful. She stood and turned as if she was preparing to leave, "I understand."

Confusion and then understanding flashed cross B'Elanna's face. She jumped up and grabbed Seven's arm to keep her from leaving. "Wait, you don't understand. You are not hurting me Seven, my feelings for you hurt me." Seven tried to pull away again. "No that's not what I meant to say. Don't walk away, please let me try to explain. Seven…I um…I think I love you. No, I know I love you."

Both women looked intently into each other's eyes for several moments with Seven not fully facing her. B'Elanna turned Seven so she was standing directly in front of her.

B'Elanna reached up to caress Seven's smooth cheek as she smiled into her blue eyes. She wanted to say something more to her but was afraid of saying the wrong thing again. She also didn't want to resort to what she would normally do when words failed her, she spoke with her body. She felt in her hearts she could have something real with this woman, truly love this woman. For that reason, she didn't want to cheapen what could be a meaningful relationship with sex. But as she looked at those full lips and deep blue eyes, her resolve started to falter. The intensity of those deep blue eyes, red full lips and the compassion that radiated from this beautiful creature drew B'Elanna in. Before she had time to think she captured those lips with her own. Seven did not appear surprised but began to deepen the kiss leaning into it with purpose. Each woman's hands traveled up and down the body of the other until they found the perfect spot to rest. B'Elanna used her tongue to beg for entrance to explore that beautiful mouth to relish in all its pleasures. Her hearts sang when she was granted access as she tasted the sweetness that was the woman she was to falling for. Seven tentatively began her own journey with her tongue growing in confidence to the delight of B'Elanna. After several intoxicating minutes they were reluctantly forced apart due to the need for air. B'Elanna rested her forehead on her chin and breathed in the sweet aroma of the young woman in her arms.

Not looking up B'Elanna softly said, "I don't know what this is but I don't want to spoil it, spoil us."

"I do not understand what you mean by this?" Seven said speaking to the top of her dark hair.

B'Elanna pulled herself away from Seven so she could look into face. Seven turned her head to avoid the intense stare of the half-Klingon. B'Elanna turned her chin to make the blonde look at her, "Seven tell me, what do you feel for me?"

Waiting for Seven to respond, B'Elanna thought she would explode with anticipation or from holding her breath.

"B'Elanna, I am unsure what to call these feelings I have been experiencing. I find myself thinking about you at random times when you are not around. I find myself concerned about your welfare. When I left without you the other day from the holocenter, all I could think about is needing to be with you to feel better. I am not sure if this is love."

Pulling the tall woman towards her in a deep embrace, B'Elanna leaned into her ear and whispered, "That sounds like love to me and I love you too Seven of Nine." She then took her face in her hands and tenderly kissed the woman again.

Seven was happy that it was confirmed what she had been feeling had in fact been love. She had feared that she was incapable of feeling and expressing love. Her whole purpose for participating in the holoexperience was to re-experience love but when she became angry at her parents she felt she was incapable of love. But now knowing that B'Elanna felt love for her and confirming that what she was feeling was in fact love, she knew that she was on her way to achieving the humanity she had sought.

They spent the next few hours talking, playing in the lake and enjoying each other's company.

As they did in the square while buying the food, they would often feed each other the food that they had bought, at times playfully teasing each other. There were times when B'Elanna would capture the long slender fingers of Seven's in her mouth and lick each finger slowly then would suck each digit as if she were making love to each one individually making sure each one received special attention. The times that she had the fingers of Seven's Borg enhanced hand in her mouth, the young blonde would emit such sounds of pleasure that it took all of B'Elanna's resolve to repress the growl that was growing from her core. The intensity of her feelings could only be quenched by recapturing her lips in another round of erotic kisses.

Seven found the need to break away from the powerful feelings that she was experiencing for fear that she would explode. She found herself desiring more from B'Elanna but did not want to disappoint her. She had researched thoroughly the romantic rituals of both heterosexual and homosexual relationships but believed what she was experiencing with this woman left her research sorely lacking.

"Seven, what's wrong? Are you okay?" B'Elanna whispered as she softly caressed her arm.

"I am unsure. Would you mind if we go back to our room now?" she responded with a shaky voice.

Becoming concerned, B'Elanna sat up and looked intently at Seven. "Did I do something to make you feel uncomfortable?"

"No." She caressed the light brown arm softly as she attempted to explain. "I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed by what I am feeling. I did not expect to feel such powerful emotions for you." She noticed the worried look on B'Elanna's face and continued to clarify what she meant. "I am happy that I have feelings for you but I need time to adjust and learn how to manage them. When you touch me, my skin feels as if an electrical current is running through my body and I want you to continue to touch me but I am not sure how to handle those emotions. Do you think I will become accustom to these feelings?"

B'Elanna gave her a bright smile and lifted her hand to her lips and kissed it tenderly. "I hope you will always feel electricity every time we touch. I feel it too." She kissed the palm of her hand and placed it on her chest so that Seven could feel her hearts beating. "We can take things slow until you feel you are better able to handle your emotions." 'I may have to take a bunch of cold showers in the meantime.'

"Does that mean we will not engage in kissing and feeding each other? I enjoyed when you kissed my fingers."

As a way of an answer, B'Elanna took the hand she was holding and placed the middle finger in her mouth and lightly sucked. "Does this answer your question?" Seven moaned deeply as B'Elanna continued to run her tongue and lips over her fingers. B'Elanna knew she should not continue this action much longer or she would have to jump into the lake. She also realized they were both still in the swim suits and needed to change before they went back to their room. Having that much of Seven's skin showing was doing nothing for her self control.

Although they had eaten at the lake, nibbled was more like it, they stopped at a restaurant and had a casual meal. In reality, B'Elanna was nervous about being alone with Seven in their room. While they ate they held hands, talked about how they felt about each other and what they wanted from their relationship to be. They stared longingly into each other's eyes seeing the anticipation of their future and the fire of their passion for each other.

B'Elanna could not look at the blonde any longer without touching her. She would honor her promise to wait until Seven was ready to take their relationship deeper but until that time, the dark woman would be content just to hold and kiss her. She gestured to Seven that she was ready to leave and go back to their room. They left the restaurant never releasing each other's hands and walked back to their room with radiant smiles on each of their faces.

Once back at their room, the couple moved about each other with a great deal anxiety like two teenagers involved in an awkward dance despite how connected they were earlier. The fire of desire overtook Seven and she quickly moved behind B'Elanna twirling her around to face her as she pushed her against the wall and passionately took her lips and kissed her soundly. A growl was coming from deep within B'Elanna that was soon joined by the sensuous moans from Seven.

The more Seven kissed B'Elanna, the more her feelings were becoming more comfortable as she felt herself melting into the embrace of her Klingon love. She knew that the progression of a romantic relationship usually ended with a sexual act and she longed that she and her new love would get to that point soon. But until that point, she was content to just be with her in any way she could.

B'Elanna gently pushed away from Seven knowing that if she didn't stop now she would never be able to stop until she consumed this woman completely in her arms.

"Seven…love…" B'Elanna said breathlessly, "can we lie down, maybe on the bed? I want to hold you, feel you against me, wake up with you in my arms. Can you we do that?"

The tall blonde looked deep into B'Elanna's brown eyes and smiled brightly at hearing herself referred to as 'love'. "I would enjoy that," was all of her reply as they moved to the bedroom.

Before they lay in the bed, B'Elanna reached up and released the long blonde hair from its bun that Seven put it in after they returned from the lake. Her hair cascaded down over her shoulders framing her face and accentuated her blue eyes. As she ran her fingers through her hair, Seven leaned into the touch. B'Elanna brought her head down so she could kiss Seven once more.

B'Elanna crawled into bed lifting the sheet and reaching out her hand inviting Seven to join her. Seven gracefully slid in next to the dark woman where she took the blonde into her arms where she pulled her into a tight embrace. The warmth of their affection for each other radiated between them as they relaxed into the growing love that they both shared. As the morning sun crept into the room neither woman was in rush to leave the room, for that matter neither was in a hurry to leave the bed.

**Epilogue**

The mood on Voyager had greatly improved since the crew left the planet. Janeway sat on the bridge secretly trying to contain her own giddy feeling of contentment at being more relaxed that she had felt since leaving the Alpha quadrant. She looked around at her bridge crew, pleased at the renewed commitment they all appeared to share to reach the Alpha quadrant.

B'Elanna was buzzing around Engineering checking on the various projects that she had assigned to her team. Everyone noticed the almost whimsical mood of their fearless leader, for some it was almost frightening to have the Klingon Engineer in such a good mood and tossing around compliments like they were penny candy.

When she was satisfied of the work of her team, she went into her office to prepare her report for tomorrow's senior staff meeting. She was happy that for the last three weeks since leaving the planet, there were no emergencies, hostile attacks or mechanical malfunctions to the engines. She was almost bored. While she was compiling the needed information for her report, she came across a PADD that she didn't remember placing on her desk.

She picked up the PADD and recognized immediately who had placed in on her desk. A wide smile came across her face. As she read what was on the PADD she had to cover mouth to keep from laughing out loud as she looked at a picture of her and Seven of Nine playing beach volleyball on their first day on Planet Questa. What she saw next caused her to melt in her seat.

_In the darkness of the night, _

_Take my hand and lead the way;  
tell me all you want to say.  
Whisper softly in my ear,  
all those things I want to hear.  
Kiss my lips and touch my skin;  
bring out passions deep within.  
Pull me close and hold me near;_

_take away my pain and fear._

_be my beacon, shine your light.  
In the brightness of the sun,  
show me that you are the one.  
Give me wings so I can fly;  
for I can soar when you're nearby.  
Enter my heart, break down the wall,  
it's time for me to watch it fall.  
I've been a prisoner, can't you see?  
Break my chains and set me free.  
Strip me of my armor tight;  
you'll find I won't put up a fight.  
Release my soul held deep within . . .  
I'm ready now, let love begin.*_

* **Ready For Love****  
**_**By hoot_owl_rn**_

Memories of their last night on the planet came rushing back along with the intense desire she felt for her beautiful lover. The feel of her hair, the softness of her skin and the sweet scent of her body threatened to send B'Elanna over into an abyss of pure ecstasy. Although they only held and kissed each other, it would always be remembered as the first of many magical nights that they would share together.

At the end of the message, Seven left a personalized directive:

_Meet me in Holodeck 2 at 2000. Wear the black leather pants with the red blouse._

B'Elanna did not know what her lover had in mind but she wasn't sure if she could wait that long. She was glad that she had finished her report because she knew that she wouldn't have been able to concentrate after reading Seven's words of love and the request for her presence in the Holodeck. She looked at her chronometer…1730. She groaned loudly. She had enough time to get Carrey to cover the rest of her shift, go to her quarters, change clothes and get to the Holodeck by 1945.

B'Elanna stood outside the Holodeck a Klingon display of nerves pacing back and forth. At exactly 2000 the doors to the Holodeck opened and B'Elanna walked in. She quickly recognized the dance club that she and Seven went to on their first date. From the side of the room, Seven walked out wearing the same red dress that she wore that same night. She wasn't sure if it was possible but B'Elanna thought she looked more beautiful than she did that night.

"Love, would you honor me by joining me for a date of dancing and dinner?" Seven lovingly asked as she reached her hand toward the short woman.

B'Elanna took the hand offered to her and walked toward her heavenly vision in red and was enveloped into the long arms of her lover as they danced, thankful that they were the only ones in the room not that they would have noticed if the room was full of people.

"Thank you for loving me and allowing me to love you." She nestled her head on the shoulder of the woman she knew would someday be her wife and sent out a vow to Kahless that she would never live her life in the past but always look to the future. Seven bent down and kissed her and mouthed the words 'You are welcome.'

The two women danced on into the night holding each other as if they were the last two people alive.

B'Elanna didn't discover until later that Seven had used a week's worth of rations so they could have the Holodeck to themselves for the whole evening.

**THE END**

* * *

I hope you enjoyed my story. Please review. I am very interested in hearing your thoughts about it.


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